Cabin Fever

5

The kids have started arriving and surprisingly they're making my nerves easier. I've already met all the little people in my cabin and we get along really well. Today they're just unpacking and then they'll have dinner later since they got here around lunch time. Until then they can roam for a bit.

There's a bell that sounds around the grounds to alert them to come back to the mess hall when it's time for dinner. All my kids are out, I gave them my number in case they get hurt or need me. We have a group chat, though I don't think they'll use it so I told them they could also message me separately if needed.

In the meantime I went to find Cordelia but she wasn't in her cabin. Before I could even think to message her I got a notification.

I'm by the lake if you're free

I smiled and made my way to the sitting area I saw that overlooks the lake. There she was sitting with the sun shining in speckles across her face as it came through the surrounding trees. She looks like an angel, out of this world. I walk over and announce my presence before sitting.

She turns to me and smiles tiredly, I mean she has her cabin full of kids and 2 others to check on so I can understand the tiredness. "Billie came to check in earlier" I say overlooking the lake, I felt her gaze shift to me momentarily. "How was that?" she asks looking back at the lake and I shrug.

"Fine I guess. There's still something about her that I can't quite place" I mumble. "Like what?" She asks with that weird tone again, "not sure. It just makes me nervous, more than usual" I state. "I'm sure it will subside once you've been around her for a while" she reasons. "Hopefully. It makes me uncomfortable" I confess, I turn to her and she was looking at me with an eyebrow quirked.

"Like... well I don't know. It's just her energy is very different, not in a bad way. She's just like a hard jigsaw puzzle that I've been staring at but haven't had the energy to start. She seems hard to piece together" I explain in the best way I can. "I can see that. That's actually a really good way of explaining it" she says making me smile.

"I definitely got the vibe from her... she's a lesbian isn't she?" I ask and she chuckles while nodding. "Do you mind me asking about your sexuality?" She asks softly and I shake my head signaling for to ask away. "Are you questioning or do you not like labels? I understand that completely" she says softly. "Umm I'm not too sure but I guess the most accurate description would be lesbian. Men just don't really do it for me" I say honestly.

"Do you have a type?" She blurts out and she looks to be surprised with herself before looking back to the lake. "Not necessarily. I just like nice people, I'm more attracted to personality. But based on my track record of crushes—and my best friend—I like blondes" I say and she nods slowly. Her bottom lip slightly pokes out into a pout as she thinks.

"Tall... short?" She continues, "tall. I'm already short as it is and I need someone to be able to reach the top shelves" I chuckle and she laughs with me. "I also just like... don't get me wrong when I say this. I hate feeling short and small but when I'm with a partner I kind of like it" I admit.

"I mean IF they make me feel safe because being smaller just makes me feel protected by them. It's sort of weird..." I say fiddling with my fingers. "It's cute" she says taking my hand, I look into her eyes and she smiles. "You have something in your hair" she says reaching towards me slowly and I lean closer so she can get it.

I hold my breath as she removes a leaf from my hair and throws it on the ground. I try to let it out as quietly as possible but she still catches me. "Your breath doesn't stink if that's what you're worried about" she chuckles. Little does she know, that's gay panic right there.

"It's just different for me to have someone in such close proximity. Makes me a bit nervous" I play it off. "Oh... well you could tell me if I'm making uncomfortable" she says worriedly. "No! It's not you, it's me..." I say, "I've heard that a lot of times" she mumbles absently.

"I didn't mean it like that... I'm sorry. I'll just umm- I'll just leave you be" I say standing up and internally cursing at myself for my lack of social skills. "No! Don't go... I didn't mean to make you feel bad" she says with urgency in her tone. "It's ok, you didn't. I should probably head back in case the kids come" I say reluctantly, not really wanting to leave her.

She nods and I start walking, the further away I get from her the more I want to go back. I decide to take a detour on a little trail I found instead of going back to the cabins. I find a little spot on a different position of the lake and sit on the bench there. Lost in my thoughts I don't realize how quickly the time is passing, until I see the sunset.

I check the time on my phone to see I missed dinner but I'm not really worried about it. I stand up to start my way back, I look both ways and try to remember which way I came. It doesn't help that there's 3 different paths to choose from. As I'm looking around for a map that has to be somewhere my phone rings.

"Hello" I answer not bothering to analyze the number first. "Alicia?" I hear Cordelia's voice on the other side of the phone. I look back at the number, I know I have her number saved so that's odd. "Yeah..." I say distractedly as I choose a path knowing I'll find my way eventually. "Where are you? You missed dinner..." she says, concern laced between every word.

"I just lost track of time. I'm on my way back now, sorry" I say trying to keep my tone as neutral as possible because I'm so anxious. "O-ok... we'll see you when you get here" she says quietly. I hear someone speak to her in the background but before I can process it she hangs up the phone. I walk a bit faster and eventually find my way back to camp before the sun fully sets.

I start walking towards my cabin when I see a shadow in my peripheral. I turn towards it to see Billie "fuuuck me" I mumble under my breath not really wanting to see anyone. "Hey" she calls out and I turn fully to face her as she jogs towards me.

"You good?" She asks and I nod, "I was going to call you but before answering Dee took the phone and insisted that she be the one that speak to you. Even though I'm over your cabin" she chuckles and I give a tight-lipped smile. We start walking and it's silent for a moment.

"You don't talk much huh?" She asks and I just shrug, "Dee seems to really like you" she continues and I feel like she's just trying to start conversation. I don't want to be rude so I decide to humor her. "Yeah I like her too. She's really nice" I say, "maybe you and I could go out for dinner, get to know each other better" she says.

"Sure" I force myself to reply knowing I'll have to get over this at some point. "Well we can't really leave the kids but we could just eat somewhere else instead of the mess hall" she says and I nod. We stop in front of my cabin and say goodnight before she walks off.

I take a few deep breaths but before I can turn the handle I hear someone else call out for me. "Hey Alicia" Delia says quietly and I turn around to walk down the few steps and meet her halfway. "You ok?" She asks "yeah" "like actually ok?" She asks nervously and I can see she looks kind of sad.

"I'm fine" I say trying to convince her so I can go to sleep and forget about today. "I know you're probably tired... I just wanted to tell you something" she says and I nod for her to continue. "You didn't offend me earlier and I really hope I didn't offend you. I just don't like the idea that I'm the reason you're upset" she says and I look to the ground before meeting her eyes.

"It's not your fault, I promise" I say taking her hand to show her I'm serious. "Sometimes I just say things without thinking and-" "it's ok Cordelia. I know you didn't mean it that way. I do the same thing, obviously" I chuckle nervously. "I just think we're becoming really good friends and frankly I don't want to fuck it up" she says.

Friends. "I understand" I say simply and she pulls me into one of her tight hugs, holding my shoulders for a moment when she pulls away. "I think you might be too empathetic for your own good" I say wiping a single tear that had fallen. "Me too" she giggles, "I'll walk you back" I say and she doesn't hesitate. I say good night to her as we reach her cabin and I begin walking back to mine.