It Hurts Me, To Love You ~ A Riker Lynch Fanfic

Chapter 3

Ellie's POV

I woke up suddenly in the middle of the night.

It's another nightmare...

I have become so sleep deprived because of all these scarily realistic nightmares.

The nightmare frustrated me because I have dreamt it so many times over and over again.

I was surrounded by every single person I had ever met and they were telling me that I was 'worthless' and that 'no one would care if I died' as well as pointing each and every flaw, I hated about myself.

"You control the dream Ell... If you don't like it,you can change it..." I whispered softly to myself.

I roll over and check the clock,it reads 3am.

I look down and notice that I've been tucked in under the covers.

Riker is next to me, and his long arms are wrapped securely around my torso.

I wriggle out of his grasp and walk into my bathroom to wash my face that was boiling hot and dripping with sweat.

I splash some cool,clear water over my face and lava up some soap in my hands before rubbing it all over my face.

"Ow! Ah!" I shouted a little too loudly for three o'clock in the morning.

The soap had slid down my face and had ended up in my eye.

My eye was stinging so badly.

I splashed some extra cold water over my face to try and get all the soap out of my eye,which surprisingly worked.

I didn't want to cause myself another injury therefore I wandered back into my bed and cuddled with Riker.

Riker POV

I awoke to Ell's face sleeping peacefully in front of me.

I kissed her softly on the forehead and smiled.

She looked so perfect,even when she sleeps she looks beautiful.

I didn't want to believe that the 'Ow' and the 'Ah' were from her cutting.

I wanted to believe that I had a nightmare and that throughout all last night Ell was sleeping next to me.

I awoke as she wriggled out of my grasp last night,she seemed scared so I wanted to cuddle her until all her worries went away.

I wish I had cuddled with her,maybe it would have stopped her from doing something she might regret.

I have a strong feeling she cut again...

It's not that I don't trust her.

I get how hard it is to be in that position.

Partly because I've been there myself...

I'm out now,I made sure I stayed just for her.

To help her through it,just like she helped me through it too.

When words are knives it's hard forget,that's the trouble Ell has.

She takes everything to heart and gets really upset about it all.

I smile as Ell's eyes flutter open.

"Morning beautiful." I smiled as I kissed her softly on the forehead.

"Morning!" Ell cheerily grinned.

She looks so innocent,I seriously can't ask her about what I heard last night.

Her arms were snugly wrapped around her torso,probably to hide her scars.

"You don't need to hide them when I'm around..." I softly whispered.

"Yes I do,they're ugly just like me..."

"They're survivor lines,each ones has a story and each one represents a painful memory. They're beautiful just like you and they show how close you were to taking your life,but you didn't. I'm glad you didn't, I'd be nothing without you..."

"I love you."

"I love you too."

I leaned forward and kissed her passionately.

She's the only girl I have ever said that too,I love her,with all my heart...

"You want some breakfast?" Ell asked me while ripping off her floral bed covers and letting the freezing cold air in.

"Yes please." I smiled,trailing down the stairs behind Ell.

Ellie's parents were already up and out so we had the kitchen,and house to ourself.

Ell opened the fridge and pulls out a carton of milk,she then walks into her pantry and grabs a box of coco pops and places them on the table infront of me.

I walk to the cupboard and get out two bowl,I then walk to the kitchen draw and get out two spoons and hip thrust the draw to close it.

Ell had started pouring herself some coco pops into a bowl and she was now smothering them in milk.

I mirrored Ell's actions and poured some coco pops into my bowl and the drowned them in milk.

We both ate them together and made light conversation about music and films.

I placed our empty bowls in the sink and started singing a cringy little song as I washed them clean.

We were still in our clothes from the other day,so there was no need to change.

I felt the need to go upstairs and actually check the bathroom cabinet so I came up with a plan to get myself up there alone.

"Ell,can I wash my face upstairs?" I asked Ellie who was giggling at my little song.

"Yeah,sure!" Ell smiled.

Authors Note

Hey guys!

I hope you enjoyed the chapter.

Can you please leave me a comment telling me what you thought of this chapter because I have a feeling that people aren't enjoying this fanfic very much...

Thank you for reading!

Please vote, comment and fan!

~ Charl x