lost || m.c

neuf

dear michael,

you once told me not to go where you cannot follow. maybe i should have listened. maybe you would still be here if i did.

i wasted all of our time chasing rabbits down holes, and for that i am truly sorry.

i'm sorry for taking you and our memories for granted. i wish i can do it all over again. but i can't. the only thing i can do is hold on to the distant memories i can merely remember.

like that one time we tried to put ourselves into hogwarts houses at home and you made me wear that ridiculous hat. or the time we lit your mother's curtains on fire while trying to make chocolate chip pancakes.

i would give anything to have those moments again.

i would give anything to have you back again.

i wish you were here right now. my insomnia has started kicking in again, leaving me awake at four in the morning with blood shot eyes and cracked lips.

what has become of me, i don't know. what will become of me, i don't want to know.

we live in a world of adventure and mystery and charm. if only we sought out adventures with our eyes open, we would never have an end to them.

did you seek them with your eyes closed, then?

they say you are what you love, not who loves you, i quite like that.

i found a picture of you the other day. it was the one we took in manhattan in front of all the flowers. you stood there smiling from ear to ear with a whole ton of flowers in your hair. everybody laughed but it is quite possibly one of my best days so far. never have i seen a human being look so beautiful amongst so many flowers.

i have to stop falling in love with memories.

i'd like to think that we're all just dreamers in this crazy world;  seeking love and adventure.

i'd like to think that after we find what we seek on this earth, we wake up from this crazy dream and allow our spirits to do as they please.

i'd like to think that life after this dream exists and that maybe we'll always be happy and cherish one another.

i'd like to think you're living your life after the dream.

i'd like to think we could live our lives together after the dream.

xx cora

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a/n: this was quite long oh well

xx e.