A cold embrace of destiny

Prologue

Dear Diary,

I'm not a fan of romance. I found it disgusting, but I only appreciate romance in works of fiction. They're so unbelievable!

My situation forced me to make an adjustment. to change. to pretend.

I'm talking about pretending that I embrace relationship drama's. that I enjoy making commitments. To be in a good relationship with someone.

I'm not making changes for myself; I'm making changes for others. To be accepted by the community we belonged in.

I never imagined myself to be in love, lol. I merely feel a simple, non-romantic attachment to them. To avoid being addressed as KJ, I have to pretend that I've got butterflies in my stomach, am in love, and I adore someone.

I pretend to portray a different person to my friends. So, in reality, they don't know me. None of them do. And I despise it when they say things like "I know you," because they don't! I'm only displaying the aspect of myself that I intended for people to see.

They believe that I am bitter because the boy I like seems to have a relationship with someone else. Ano 'yon? Bata pa lang kahit wala pang nagugustuhan, bitter na?

I'm not into love.

Perhaps I like the concept of feeling their affections but not being Inlove.

I should have chosen myself the same way I choose others. I must get the bravery to emerge from the darkness. Without other people's assistance, I had to fight my own struggles.

the truth is, I wallow myself to grief.