richie tells only the truth.

clubhouse..

richie lied in the hammock, hands draped over his head. he kept mumbling random shit, hoping it would all wear out before the losers got there.

obviously, bill was first. he entered the clubhouse, smiling as he saw richie, who didn't bother smiling back. he walked over to the boy in the hammock, poking his cheek.

"are you real?" bill asked. richie smacked his hand away and sighed.

"this is so shitty. i won't even be able to lie my way out of everything i accidentally say! i'm genuinely a good liar normally is the thing."

bill scoffed, laughing. "now that's hhh-how i know this whole thing's just a lie. y-you're absolute shit at lying."

"really, because i've lied to you guys my entire life and you all have seemed to believe me soo," richie blurted out without a break for breath between his and bill's words.

"rich, why are you lying t-to us? keeping secrets from us?" bill asked. richie dug his nails deep into his skin and bit his tongue to keep from saying something

as if it were perfectly timed, stanley, beverly and ben entered the clubhouse. beverly was rushing in, stanley bored and tired and ben in an average mood.

"okay. bill, what's going on? what's the emergency?" beverly asked.

"what's so important i have to talk to you guys on a tuesday in the middle of summer?" stanley asked, tiredly. even though he doesn't seem the type, stanley tended to sleep in.

beverly elbowed him in the arm and he rolled his eyes. ben smiled and waved to richie, who sat up and stared at the floor in front of the losers shamefully.

"richie can't lie," bill said, pointing his thumb to the boy behind him in the hammock. richie looked up at them.

"oh no, this isn't good. i don't want to know anything about what goes down in richie  trashmouth tozier's mind," stanley grunted.

"this is gonna get very cussy," beverly sighed, making up a new word.

"yeah, well, i don't want you guys to know either. i don't even know why i'm here but i already regret this so much," richie groaned.

bill glanced at him, wondering what could possibly be going on that richie didn't want them knowing about.

"is this a prank or something?" ben asked, not very gullible.

bill shook his head. he looked at richie, who's arms flew up. "what?!"

"tell each of them ss-something," bill said.

"now why the actual fuck would i do that?" richie asked rudely, trying to avoid the request.

"fine then. w-what's one thing you hate about me?" bill asked.

"wow-ee bill-ee! it ticks me the fuck off whenever you chew with your fucking mouth open! i can not STAND loud noises like that. pisses me off. i really hate that annoying noise of chewing when i can hear it and the extra 'smack-the-lips-why-don't-ya!' really just makes it ten times more annoying. it's like the recliner chair at mike's house, it doesn't stop fucking squeaking whenever it barely budges and it goes on and on and on and it's more and more noise that just adds up and i hate being around that chair for that reason," richie ranted, quickly speaking as the words poured out without his control. "i mean-.." he said, trying to come up with something to make it seem like he wasn't being rude.

"see?" bill asked, looking up at stanley.

"holy shit," stanley said. beverly gave him an upset look as to say 'you okay?' not like he could nod.

"no," is all he said, staring at beverly. he groaned again, crying out as he pulled his hands over his face. "why is this happening?!"

"i'm n-not sure. hopefully we can find out soon," bill said.

"yeah, hopefully! i'm already fucking sick of this! it scares me that i don't have control over what i fucking say," richie huffed. 

"this is so weird," ben mumbled.

"do we know why it's happening?" beverly asked, turning to bill.

"no! we don't! ben, i'm sorry, but i'm getting really fucking distracted because of you. love you and all, but your haircut is fucking awful. and while i'm fucking at it, bev, when everyone went to clean your bathroom during the whole pennywise thing, i got so bored i started telling people passing not to go near your apartment because eddie's mom's vagina exploded in there, so that's why your neighbors have been weird. stan, when we were little, i accidentally ripped a page of your bird book out and i freaked out and sobbed until i threw up and eventually shoved it in my closet and now whenever i look at it i feel guilty! speaking of closets-" richie ranted, shoving his hand over his mouth once again. everyone stared at him and he yell-groaned, shoving the bottom of his other hand so far into his eye he could see spots.

"w-why do you keep stopping yourself randomly?" bill asked.

"hahaha, i don't know, billy, maybe because i don't want that secret shared. ohh man this whole thing makes me wanna go underwater until the bubbles stop!" richie said, wishing he could force a laugh or any positive emotion in his voice at all. he tried to hold his hand over his mouth, but couldn't manage to keep it like that. it slipped off no matter how hard he tried to hold back.

"richie what the fuck??" beverly asked. "are you okay?!"

"haha, L.O.L. 'okay' pfft," richie said, making random comments he never would say in a million years, like 'L.O.L.'

"shit," stanley whispered, genuinely concerned. he wasn't one to show that, however. "this is just weird. 'L.O.L.'? that's not so richie of him."

beverly elbowed him.

"ss-stan," bill said strictly. "now's not the time to be joking."

"yeah, don't you love me, stan?" richie asked, no sarcasm or entertainment in his voice. just dullness. he meant it.

"wh- what?" stanley asked.

"what are you talking about?" ben asked.

"as if you guys actually put up with me! i'm just some annoying bug to you all that entertains you with comedic relief. you all are just annoyed with every last thing i do, so i'm sorry for being so annoying and if i could shut my god damn fucking mouth for once i wouldn't be laying my problems on you guys making you hate me more, god SHUT UP, RICHIE!" richie rambled, attempting to laugh at himself after, trying to break the room's tension.

"rich, we love you. we could never think that way about you. yeah, your jokes can get annoying and you can be a pest, but we love you, jokes or no jokes," beverly reassured.

"see, the ironic thing here is that you guys can still lie," richie said.

"richie," stanley said strictly.

"wha.. i had no clue you thought this way about us?" beverly said. she huffed.

"i would've highly appreciated if it stayed like that," richie mumbled. he wanted to shove a knife into his throat to keep from talking. he somehow restrained himself from saying that, so glad he did.

the clubhouse door opened again to eddie and mike, who were previously laughing at something said before. once they were both down, their smiles dropped as they read the room.

"what? what happened?" eddie asked.

(i really hope this is good enough omfg)