my only reason to live is fanfic writing/writing stories (vent)

hi guys, it's time to admit something...

I'm not okay...

everyday I'm always hurting...

the only way for me to make the pain stop is writing fanfiction...

yeah, it sounds stupid...

but it makes the pain go away for a while...

without my creativity I'm nothing...

I wish I could stop the pain forever but...

there's no way...

my meds don't work...

my therapy doesn't work...

nothing works...

the only way to at least numb the pain is writing fanfiction...

go ahead and say it's stupid...

it won't hurt as bad as being alone...

I don't really have anything else to say...

I know nobody is reading this...

why did I write this?

idk anymore...

don't worry, I won't kill myself...

I don't think I will at least...

if you are reading this...

sorry for wasting your time...