New city. New faces. New life. Shari thinks moving to La Bianco will give her the fresh start that she badly craves, but everything seems to remind her of a life she could not even remember.
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"Pa, you have nothing to worry about. Tinulungan na po ako ni Chino sa lahat. All my things are unpacked, my books are in the shelves, and my fridge is full of nutritious stuff. Sobrang okay ang apartment. Besides, Chino is just next door. Wala talagang problema," paniniguro ko kay papa habang nakahilata sa sofa at hawak ang cell phone malapit sa tainga ko.
"Puwede ko bang makausap si Chino?" wika ni Papa mula sa kabilang linya, bakas pa rin ang pag-aalala sa boses.
"Si Chino?" Idinaan ko sa tawa ang naramdamang kaba. "Pumunta po muna siya sa university, may kinuhang mga documents."
"Ha? E, ba't di ka sumabay? Hindi ka pa na-e-enroll 'di ba? Gusto mo bang pumunta ako diyan bukas? Puwede akong umabsent." The worry in my father's voice made my heart melt. Sa ganitong mga pagkakataon, lalo akong mas nagiging determinadong tumayo nang mag-isa.
"Hindi na, Pa. Sabay na po kami ni Chino." I smiled, trying to ignore the tears forming up my eyes. "Pa, una na po pala ako. Magluluto na ako ng dinner."
"Sige, anak. Ingat ka diyan. Mag-lock palagi ng pinto at huwag kakalimutan ang niluluto. Tatawag ulit ako mamaya."
As soon as the call ended, my hand dropped to my lap. I stared at the pile of unopened bags and boxes all over the living room—or if you could even call it a living room.
I felt tears stream down my face. I quickly wiped them off and took deep breaths, trying to convince myself that I made the right decision and that everything will be alright . . . after all, this isn't for me, but for the happiness of the people I love the most—my parents.
I heard my phone beep and when I held it up, I saw a message flash from Chino:
Nasa bahay na ako. Everything alrighty-right over there?
I rolled my eyes and just sent a crying emoji, along with three skulls. Ang lintik, nag-reply lang ng laughing emoji.
I threw my phone on the sofa and stood up. I began stretching while wiping up my tears. I promised myself that I will no longer be a crybaby, but it's hard to keep my promise when my heart feels like it's been ripped into shreds.
"It'sm okay . . . . magiging okay ako." I sniffed the clogging off my nose and took more deep breaths. "This will bend me, but this will never break me. Iiyak at magrereklamo, pero hindi susuko."
Whenever life gets me down, I cheer myself up by eating something good and watching a good movie kaya naman dumiretso ako sa ref. Bago ko pa man ito mabuksan, nanlumo ako nang maalalang wala nga pala itong laman. Ni hindi nga ito nakasaksak sa outlet.
"Sana nang sinabing fully furnished apartment, fully-stocked din ang ref." I laughed with misery.
Nilibot kong muli ang tingin sa mga bagahe ko at bumuntonghininga na lamang. I reached for my little cross-body purse, gathering my phone, wallet, and apartment keys.
