Older Delights | Lucius Malfoy/Severus Snape x OC

15. Dating Dilemmas

It was very late, or early depending on how you looked at it, as Florence lay in her professor's bed staring up at his magnolia walls. She couldn't sleep at all, her mind was running wild with thoughts. The girl wasn't entirely sure how Legilimency worked exactly so she figured he wouldn't be able to hear her through the walls. As usual, she was wrong.

What does this mean?

Severus was lying awake on his small sofa, desperately trying to block the girl out of his mind. Though it wasn't possible for him to simply turn off his mind-reading skills, the Potions Master could dull the thoughts of those around him so that they were nothing more than a low hum in the background. He regularly did this during his lessons and meal times when the noise overwhelmed him.

Does he see me as anything other than a way to release some steam?

Unfortunately for the dark wizard, he was not able to master this ability when it came to the girl who was currently occupying his bed. His face twisted into a grim smile as he considered that she had bewitched him, as the muggles often put it when they found themselves enthralled by someone.

Will he still help me study after what we did?

Now that he had some clarity, he was expecting to experience deep regret over his actions. He knew that he should feel guilty but twice it had happened now, in the same 24 hours. So, it was safe to say that it wasn't a mistake. He considered whether he should go to purge his sins to Albus, but surely that would do nobody any good. So, he continued to sit back and let the girl's private thoughts pass through his mind.

Was I good enough for him?

He wished the girl wasn't so deeply insecure, but he had a good idea of where those issues came from. She was clearly the type who enjoyed punishing herself to release some pressure. He considered that was what she used Lucius for. The thought filled his mouth with an acidic taste.

Oh god, what about Lucius?

Do I tell him?

Why should I tell him, I don't owe him anything.

But what if he finds out? It's not like I can keep my thoughts from him, of course, he's going to find out.

Fuck. He's not going to be happy.

The girl's thoughts raced through her head now as she started to put her tryst with Snape into the bigger picture. Of course, she knew deep down that what she was feeling for her Potions professor went deeper than it did with Lucius. She just didn't know if such a downcast person was capable of reciprocating those feelings.

These sorts of feelings were so new to the girl. She made a point of keeping her emotions out of most of her past 'situationships' and letting her lust lead the way. She chuckled sardonically as she realised her first potential love interest was so completely unobtainable. Why couldn't she have fallen for one of those French boys back at Beauxbatons? Did the universe need to be quite so hell-bent on making her life difficult in all areas?

She chuckled to herself as she realised she'd said the word love. It was ridiculous to even consider the possibility. She had only known the man a few short weeks and barely built up more than a mild student/professor relationship with him in that time.

Still, she couldn't shake the thought that it felt like she had known him for a lifetime. It was cliched to say, but it was true. She felt like they had instantly bonded now that the connection had been fired up. Florence knew he was troubled, but as so many women do, she believed she could fix him. She just doubted he would want her to.