A rant book..

January 13th, 2023..(demn)

Hello people.

Happy new year tho..

It's uhm..been a year and more since I last wrote/updated. A lot has happened. Loss and gain here and there. I don't really know what I should write about.

I made a good friend online, she has become someone important to me and honestly both of our lives are fucked brutally but meh we can't do shit rn. Ah Me and my best friend became obsessed with Lana Del Rey, The weekend(a little bit yeah we are repeating only 3 songs since 1 month), Adele and Bernadette Banner's Youtube channel.

Hm..ah yes a rare occurring happened this very evening. Me and 2 of my other friends were on terrace today planning our other friends' birthday thing and stuff. It has been almost an hour now and we were almost done we were concluding all the stuff we needed and were finalizing the list of invited people. So uhm the terrace has small pillars and shit so like we can sit on them, I sat on one and one friend stood in front of me as she kept the notebook on my thigh and wrote on it while me and the other one standing on my left talked about the cake and ingredients.

Trust me when I say this, we all got goosebumps all over our body at the same time and it's dead silent now. We felt something very wrong like smth in the air shifted so badly it made our stomachs dip with fear and anxiety. We just looked at each other for 2 mins, and the one writing said "are we being stared at or what?" she looked terrified while the other trembled slightly in pure fear. I said "I feel uneasy all of a sudden" and the one in the right said "yes ikr!! I don't know I think we should go somewhere with lots of people, I don't feel neither safe or okay" My first thought was to check all the neighbouring terraces and balconies to see if someone was there, surprisingly no one. We hurried downstairs went to the nearest grocery shop, the one writing earlier took out the safety knife she keeps in her bag and said "just in case".

We basically ran to the store and pretended we were calm and checked some chocolate cakes casually and came out buying nothing after like a good 10 mins after calming down however the fear returned. The gush of adrenaline was reasonless and we felt just so vulnerable for no cause.

One problem is what that one friend had to walk at least 600 meters to get home while me and the "diary" one lived very near to each other so she had to walk home alone.

The restlessness we felt until we got a call from her saying she got home safe was just uff-

so yeah. My heart is still beating wildly as I write this.

I gotta roam around the house for now ig.

bye bye.