Footprints | Wooksung

track 4 - never enough

About a month in to Park Jisung's disappearance is when Wookjin starts to get desperate. Truth is, he's been desperate for a while---but some part of him's still in denial, believing that Jisung will simply walk through their front door with his arms outstretched for Wookjin (and no one else) like he's always done. But it's been a month. And Jisung's still not back.

"You're Wookjin, right? Jisung's bandmate?" the girl Wookjin had fought tooth and nail to get hold of asks as she settles herself in the chair across from him. She's pretty in that kind of sharp, hard to miss way Kyubin is---orange-haired and thin-faced and big-eyed. Wookjin would easily lose her in a crowd. Then again, he'd lose a lot of people in a crowd---but not Jisung. Never Jisung. He looks through every crowd for that reason now---all to find Jisung, as if he'll materialise out of thin air if Wookjin wishes hard enough.

"Yeah. You must be Vivi-noona."

"Just Vivi is fine. Noona makes me feel awkward. It's nice to meet you, Wookjin. How's Jisung?" Vivi questions, hands laced in front of her. Wookjin's heart sinks, because if she's asking about Jisung, she can't know where he is.

"Jisung's...gone."

"What?" The word comes out louder than he's pretty sure she intends it to. Vivi's hand flies to her mouth, a thin film already starting to form over the whites of her eyes, and Wookjin instantly realises the grave error of his wording.

"Not that way!" he quickly adds on. I hope. Because missing is better than dead, and there are many types of ways to be gone. Wookjin constantly prays it's the non-permanent one, because there's no point in searching through a crowd when you're looking for a ghost. "He left our group last month. And we haven't seen him since. Which is why I, uh, reached out to you. You were in a music video together, weren't you?"

Vivi laughs half-heartedly, bringing her hand to her lips again, but Wookjin doesn't miss the worry furrowing her brow. He shouldn't wonder, but he does anyway: How close were you guys on set? Were you colleagues, friends, or something more? Did you love him the way I love him? Because Jisung's easy to love. Of course he is.

Love usually is.

"I almost forgot about that," Vivi chuckles, nostalgia lining every inch of her tone. "It's been so long since Everyday I Love You came out."

(The title of said music video hits a little too close to home.)

"Yeah. That's why I contacted you. In case you...you know, talked to him lately or know anything about where he's gone."

Vivi shakes her head. "I haven't talked to him in about two months. Loona's been busy lately---my group, I mean. Jisung and I...haven't really had much of a chance to catch up recently. And he's never mentioned anything about leaving his group. In fact, he always tells me that he's the happiest he's ever been there with you guys." She pauses. "He talks about you a lot, especially."

Wookjin leans forward, equal parts intrigued and desperate. Desperate to find anything that'll help him locate Jisung. Desperate to hear what Jisung's been saying about him all along. Desperate to know if Jisung loves (or loved, but that's a bit of a depressing thought to have, so Wookjin pushes it out of his mind) him the same way he loves Jisung. "What did he say?"

"Admitted that he secretly enjoys the way you wake him up every morning. Said that you flirt too much but he doesn't really mind, even though he acts like he does. He cares about you a lot, Wookjin." Vivi stops to offer Wookjin a small, consolatory smile. "He told me that you're the best part of being in the group."

His heart is a jackhammer in his chest---thud thud thud, over and over again. "Really?" Wookjin asks breathily, not daring to hope, hardly daring to believe.