𝗼𝗰𝗲𝗮𝗻 𝗵𝗲𝗮𝗿𝘁𝘀 | lo'ak x tsireya

𝟎𝟏 - grief

tsireya pov

the water lapped silently against the trees that held together the shelter of my marui. it usually had a calming effect on me, but not on this particular evening. it was the same day after the victory of the metkayina against the sky people, and i was expecting it to fill me with joy. instead, it did the opposite. i knew that we had suffered major losses from our people. my mother's tulkun, roa, and her baby calf. my friend, neteyam, whom i had just grown close to. and his brother... i couldn't forget the anguished look on lo'ak's face. he had held onto me so tightly that i thought he would never let go. i could feel the pain emanating from his body from the way he was holding me.

i couldn't help the grief i had felt at that moment wash over my senses again. my vision blurred as tears fell from my eyes. i watched the sun set over the line where the ocean met the horizon, leaving a trail of glittering white sparkles in its wake. i decided to leave my miserable state behind and find my only solace, my mother.

i found ronal surrounded by several other villager women in her marui. some were whispering words of comfort and rubbing her limbs with special herbs, while others were chanting a prayer to eywa in a low voice.

my mother's eyes were closed as she allowed the villagers to soothe her, but the pained expression on her face said enough for me to turn my back to leave. i didn't want to interrupt her in the disarming state she was in, especially since she was still pregnant.

"wait." i froze as i heard her firm voice order in a calm tone.

i turned around to face my mother. her eyes opened and her gaze immediately softened. "what is it, child?"

"it's nothing. i just wanted to check up on you, mother," i replied softly.

ronal motioned for the village women to leave so that she could be alone with me. once they had completely gone, she looked at me and gave me a small smile.

"come, tsireya." my mother patted the spot next to her on the woven floor. i did as i was told and sat beside her, crisscrossing my legs as my tail naturally curled into my lap.

"i know what you're thinking. i am grieving my spirit sister and her baby, just as i am terribly upset about the disasters that have happened today," she said, maintaining her calm tone to my surprise. she seemed to be more vulnerable, so i placed my hand gently on top of hers, looking up into her deep blue eyes. i nodded to show my understanding as a strong desire to comfort her rose inside of me.

"this has been new for all of metkayina, but i can understand that this is very hard on you." my mother's distant look suddenly dropped down onto me. "i am so sorry, tsireya."

"mother, please don't apologize," i said, my voice trembling as i watched my mother's expression resort back to a pained one. "it was the sky people."

"i know, my love," she said quietly. "they have caused us much pain and suffering." an uncomfortable silence filled the room.

"however, there is someone else out there who is grieving alongside us," my mother continued, flipping her palm upward and squeezing my hand. "they lost someone very important to them."

only one navi came to my mind. lo'ak. i tried to hide my softened expression from the thought of him but it was too late. i glanced up at my
mother and she gave me a knowing look. i felt my face grow hot with embarrassment.

before i could respond, ao'nung entered the pod. he eyed me before looking at ronal. "mother, father wants to see you," he uttered in a quiet voice.

my mother nodded and turned to me. "go," she said, giving me the same look again.

i nodded and got to my feet, knowing exactly what to do. with agile movements, i moved past my brother and onto the bouncy pathways that connected the marui. i passed the many pods within my village, chancing a look up at the sky above. the stars were out and twinkling against the black sky.

i reached the sully family's marui and to my surprise, i found lo'ak sitting outside on the edge of the path, his feet dangling in the water.

as i approached him from behind, i stole a glance inside and saw his family talking silently amongst themselves while holding each other. i turned back to face lo'ak, who didn't seem to sense my presence.

"lo'ak," i said his name softly, walking up to him and sitting down beside him. the boy's ears twitched at the sound of my voice and he turned to face me, his beautiful yellow gaze penetrating mine.

"tsireya..." he whispered softly, a confused look in his eyes as he scanned my face for answers. "what are you doing here?"

"i just wanted to see you," i responded gently, feeling a bit taken aback at his formal tone. i understood that he was still grieving and may be setting boundaries. "how are you?"

"i was better when neteyam was here," he said, barely above a whisper. he gazed coldly into the rippling water that reflected bioluminescent colors onto his face. the purple and pink colors against his dark blue skin were mesmerizing to me. i felt sadness numb my senses at his restrictive demeanor. it wouldn't be easy to console him.

"lo'ak-" i began, reaching up to touch his arm in an attempt to comfort him. he swiftly caught my wrist with his strong hand before i could continue.

"no, tsireya. you don't understand. this was all my fault," he spoke bitterly as i dropped my hand in surprise. "if i just stayed put where i was, i wouldn't have lost my brother."

"that was not your fault," i said firmly, my voice rising. "you were trying to save your family. neteyam-"

"neteyam is dead because of me," lo'ak stated heartlessly, locking his eyes with mine. he did not seem phased by my remarks at all.

"that is not true and you know it," i protested, my voice starting to break. "why are you being so hard on yourself? i-"

"BECAUSE I AM AN OUTCAST!" lo'ak lashed out at me, causing my heart to skip a beat as i let out a soundless gasp. from my peripheral view, i saw a school of fish swim frantically away from where our legs were dangling, and the corals below seemed to recoil at the tension above.

i stared in shock at lo'ak's angered expression before tears welled up in my eyes. i didn't understand why he was being so bitter and aggressive towards me.

i quickly got to my feet and ran blindly in the direction i had come, stifling wounded sobs with my hands. i had a strong desire to dive into the ocean and swim far away from all this pain, but i resisted the urge. in the distance i heard him faintly calling my name.

"tsireya!"

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hey everyone! welcome to my first avatar fanfic! i wrote this hoping to find some loakxtsireya shippers, i know yall are out there ;) anyways i hope you enjoyed this, please vote and comment if you would like me to continue!