Recovery and Redemption

A Need for Air

It wasn't like her to walk out of a meeting, or briefing, or whatever that was like that. It also wasn't like her to snap at the Chief, but she just needed some time to think. She wasn't even certain where she was going to go, instead she just found herself wandering the halls of ACME. Wandering up and down corridors without even paying attention to her surroundings. Of course she could have gone back to her rooms, but then what would she do there? She needed to vent her frustrations.

Her stomach was churning, her head was spinning. The thought of this impending disaster was making her ill. These past few weeks it was as if someone had pulled a rug out from under her and she was still struggling to regain her balance. Every time she thought that she was beginning to put things back together everything came undone again. Now this. It was not only her world that had been turned upside down, it would be everyone else's as well.

When she finally stopped she found herself in front of the door to one of the courtyards. What she needed right now was air. Fresh air and sunlight would do her some good. Since arriving at ACME she had barely managed to get any of that at all. Despite her best efforts she was still trepidatious about going outside. It was irrational she knew, but the attack had broken her in more ways than she would willingly admit. She paused with her hands on the door, then pushed it open allowing a cool breeze to wash over her.

She checked to see that her security card would allow her to regain access to the building, always have an escape plan, before stepping out into the courtyard and allowing the door to swing shut behind her. The cool breeze felt nice and she could feel her frayed nerves and upset stomach beginning to settle. Closing her eyes she took a deep breath and the sweet smell of of the akizakura flowers reached her as well as the citrusy kinmokusei trees.

After a few moments she opened her eyes and slowly began to walk around the Japanese gardens. This had always been one of her favorite places back in her detective days. The gardens held some of her fondest memories. She had spent many an afternoon here with Suhara working to crack a case and focusing on her zen training. The peaceful atmosphere had always helped to put her mind at ease and allow her to concentrate more fully. What she wouldn't give now to sit down with Suhara and share a kettle of tea and some pleasant conversation.

As she neared her favorite spot in the gardens she could feel tears in her eyes. It had been months, maybe a year since the last time she had seen Suhara and they had really had a good conversation. Of course she had been watching him from afar, keeping an eye out for him, but it wasn't the same. He had always been like a father to her, and to keep such a distance from him was unnatural. If ever there was a time that she felt the need to be near him it was now.

Carmen wandered around the gardens until she came to a small copse of trees. She brushed back the branches of a weeping cherry and walked into the copse until she came to some stone benches facing a koi pond. The trees helped to keep this area well hidden from the rest of the courtyard. Unless you were consciously looking for this area, or you knew it was there you wouldn't see it. This feeling of privacy had been by design.

Several strategically placed rocks, flowers, and trees allowed this space to become its own.

In the years since she had last been here the trees had grown quite a lot. They were not quite overgrown now but they did have something of a feral quality about them. Even the sweet perfume of the flowers seemed to be stronger now. Checking to make sure that she was alone Carmen looked around before reaching up and freeing her hair from its braid. Right now in this space she needed a break from being Francesca. Here she needed to be Carmen.

It was risky, she knew, every little bit of her disguise was important, but right now there were worse things that could happen than the ACME detectives finding out that she was here. It felt good to let her hair down and allow the breeze to flow through. After a moment she sat down on one of the benches beneath a Momiji tree watching the Koi swimming around in the pond.