Insomniac (Ryeji)

4

From her room Ryujin could hear the faint sound of the door opening and the shuffle of people coming in. Her heart weighed guiltily in her chest as she buried herself even further under the covers of her duvet. She had had a brief conversation with their manager earlier about what had happened, how she'd fainted in the middle of a performance and had to be carried off. Ryujin was so ashamed she had only been able to shrug meekly when they'd asked why it had happened and with a sigh left her to recover.

A few moments later she heard a soft knocking on her door and her heart somehow sunk even further knowing who it was.

The door opened and Yeji's face emerged from behind it. Upon seeing Ryujin awake she let herself in and closed the door quietly behind her.

"How are you?" She asked and Ryujin couldn't meet her eyes.

"I'm fine."

"Why are you being like this?" Yeji then spoke louder. Ryujin flinched knowing how angry Yeji probably was with her. After all she'd ruined everything. However Yeji's face melted into one of concern "Why won't you tell me what's wrong?"

Ryujin blinked at looking up at Yeji. "You're not angry?" She asked confused, having expected a scolding for her inadequate performances today.

"I'm worried Ryujin. You almost gave me a heart attack earlier."

"I'm sorry." She whispered. The one thing she had been trying not to do the whole time was worry Yeji and somehow she had failed so spectacularly that now all she could do was cry.

Immediately Yeji rushed over and wrapped her arms around her, pulling Ryujin close to her chest.

They sat there for a few moments before Yeji spoke again. The only sounds being Ryujin's own muffled sobbing.

"Please tell me what's wrong. You don't have to hide anything."

Ryujin took a few shaky breaths before sitting up and wiping away her tears. "It's stupid really." She paused, but Yeji's pleading gaze urged her to continue. "I just... I can't sleep." And suddenly everything Ryujin had bottled up spilled out. "I-I don't know why but every time I've gone to bed for the last week I've been lying awake all night. I've tried lots of things to help it but none of them work. It's not like the night terrors. It's as if when I close my eyes every thought I've ever had comes racing through my brain. It sounds so silly saying it out loud for how much trouble it's caused. I'm so sorry I messed everything up."

"Hey, hey that's not silly. Not sleeping is serious. Why didn't you say?"

"I was embarrassed and I didn't want to burden anyone. I know how busy everyone's been and I know how much you already worry. I didn't want to add to that."

Yeji sighed. Ryujin could tell it was a disappointed one and she couldn't bare to hear what Yeji would say.

"Ryuj-"

"I know I should have said something. I'm sorry for being such a rubbish group member. Now I've just ended up causing more problems-"

"Ryujin!" Yeji said firmly in an authoritative voice that immediately shut Ryujin up. "What are you even talking about? You're an amazing group member. We're so lucky to have you in our team. I should be the one apologizing for not realizing you were struggling so badly and pressing the matter. I'm sorry you felt you couldn't tell me. Don't ever think you're some sort of burden." Yeji hugged her tighter. "And please don't ever scare me like that again."

Ryujin nuzzled into the older girl's touch, finding solace in the feeling of Yeji's gentle breathing next to her.

"I'm sorry I scared you. I probably scared everyone."

"Probably. But don't fret about that now, we're all just glad you're safe. What's important is that you rest." Yeji slowly unwrapped herself from around Ryujin and got up but Ryujin caught her wrist before she could go anywhere.

"Wait unnie."

Yeji stopped and looked back at her.

"Please could you... could you stay?" Ryujin felt her cheeks heat up as she saw Yeji's eyebrows raise slightly at her question. She wasn't usually a clingy person but for some reason she didn't want to let go of Yeji just yet.

"Ryujin you need to sleep."

"I know. I was just wondering whether you could sleep next to me? Just for tonight." Ryujin hated how needy she sounded but Yeji didn't seem at all bothered.

"Let me go unpack my things and tell the others you're ok. I'll be right back I promise." Yeji replied with a warm smile. Ryujin nodded silently and let Yeji's wrist slip from her hand.

The older girl left the room, closing the door gently behind her and Ryujin snuggled back down under her duvet. She once again found herself staring idly at the wall beside her, her bedside lamp casting crooked shadows across the plain white paint. She sighed at the ridiculousness of the situation she'd created and wondered about what Midzys would think of her mishap.

She picked up her phone from beside her pillow and quickly sent a message on bubble to reassure everyone she was ok before turning the device off and putting it onto charge next to her. Usually she might put on a drama to watch but this evening her brain was too tired to.

Not long after the handle of her door turned and Yeji slipped in, hair washed, wearing her silky pajamas. They both locked eyes with each other which caused Ryujin to blush and feel slightly guilty.

"You don't have to be here." Ryujin's voice trailed off.

"Nonsense, I agreed earlier. If you think you'll sleep better by being with someone I'm very happy to be that person, ok?" Yeji said with a smile.

"Ok. Thank you." Ryujin shuffled over to make room for Yeji in the bed. And the older girl tiptoed across the room before slipping under the covers.

Ryujin quickly turned the light off and shut her eyes. Yeji's body radiating a pleasant warmth beside her. Within moments they had both relaxed into each other and Ryujin could hear the soft sounds of her leader already asleep. Slowly she herself felt the pull of tiredness tickling the far corners of her mind. As gently as she could she wrapped an arm around the older girl's waist and snuggled up next to her, careful not to wake her up.

Gradually all the thoughts in her mind and tremors in her body ceased. Giving way to the blissful silence of rest. Allowing her to fall into a deep and peaceful slumber.