that's why they did what they did (a short story)

that's why they did what they did

    Other people said he was attractive. The people that he dated or hooked-up with said so several times. He stopped dating and hooking-up awhile ago. Instead, he looked in the mirror. But, he could never see it. To himself, he was disgusting, ugly. That’s why he did what he did.

    He didn't eat as much as he should. He threw up a lot of what he did eat. People would ask him if he was ok, if he wanted to talk, if there was something wrong. He always answered with a fake smile and said yes, no, he was fine. He would shut himself out sometimes, hurting his dad and his friends.  He knew it wasn’t healthy but it would help sometimes when things, both inside and outside of his head, got too loud.

    There was one time he fainted in the middle of class. They called his dad. He saw everything. He saw his son’s scars, the weight loss, the bones poking out of his too pale skin. He knew something was wrong but he didn’t think it was this bad. His dad wasn’t supposed to find out. No one was. That’s why he did what he did.

   Sometimes he heard his dad crying at night. Praying to a god that neither of them believed in, to just help his son, to help him help his son. He didn’t want his dad feeling like this. His dad wouldn’t have felt like this, if he hadn’t found out. If he had just kept his secret better.

   That’s why his dad found him, one night. He was laying on his bed. He looked as if he were asleep, if it weren’t for the long, deep gashes on his arms and the red, blood pooling from them. He wasn’t breathing and he didn’t have a pulse. That’s why his dad did what he did.

    He saw the knife his son used and he grabbed it. He used the phone in his son’s room. He dialed 911. All he said was that he had nothing left, before slitting his throat. By the end of the night, almost morning, both the father and son were dead. Both of their deaths ruled as suicides.