Black Hawk Down

Chapter Eight

February 5 - 1532 hours - Natasha's room - Stark Tower

Clint settled Natasha on the bed before telling her and Coulson he would be back in a bit. Natasha turned to face Coulson once the door closed behind him. "He's mad at me for not telling him the truth isn't he?" Natasha asked.

Coulson nodded slightly, "But it's more than that too. He's much more angry that the Red Room would do those sorts of things to an eight year old. I think he's also angry that he couldn't be there to protect you in Russia. That you have to go through this procedure again. That pain. That he can't physically help you with or prevent."

"Of course he blames himself," Natasha groaned throwing her head back onto the pillows. "And there's not much I can do about it. I've already told him it's not his fault and that there's nothing he could have done." She paused and changed the topic not knowing how to deal with the idea of Clint blaming himself for something he couldn't have helped. "Phil, you're like family to me and I want you to know that I'm grateful for everything you've done especially when Clint first brought me in. I know we didn't get along but I want you to know that I didn't really hate you, if that's what it seemed like. I didn't know if I could trust you. You proved to me very quickly that I could and I really appreciated that when no-one else was very friendly. So thank you for everything." She paused not knowing how to phrase her her request. "I know you will anyway, but please if I don't make it, keep an eye out for Clint. He... he told me that he loves me Phil. I didn't know what to say," she admitted.

"He told me that he told you," Phil smiled. "If you love him back you should tell him so." Phil paused. "He was so scared you would tell him love is for children or run away from him or something." He shifted forwards in his chair. "Nat, the two of you are like family to me too. I would love to see the two of you happy together but I don't want either of you to get hurt."

"I don't really know what love is, Phil," Natasha whispered. "I was so afraid that I would hurt him by saying the wrong thing. I thought he would hate me for not saying it back."

"You obviously didn't say anything wrong, Nat." Phil assured her, "He would have left without saying goodbye if you had. He would have taken it as you not wanting him around. He's still here so you're fine." Phil knew from bitter experience how true his words were. "As for love. If you think you couldn't live without him in your life. If you miss him when he's not around. If he makes you laugh and makes you happy. If you hate to fight with him. If he frustrates you all the time but you still tolerate him. If every little thing reminds you of him. Or if he's the first person you think about then you probably love him." He paused, "I'd say it's a little different for everyone."

"Phil, thank you," Natasha smiled at him before shyly gesturing for him to come closer for a hug. "Whatever happens, just thank you."

"No problem, Nat," he smiled hugging her tight. "Thank you for coming into and changing my life. Thank you for making Clint happy."

There was a light knock on the door signalling Clint had come back. "Phil, if something happens give these out at my funeral." Natasha whispered sadly handing him a small pile of envelopes.

"Will do," Phil smiled sadly back at her tucking them out of sight before going to open the door. He quietly left the room closing it after himself before Clint could enter. Natasha briefly wondered what they were talking about in the hallway as she shuffled herself into a more upright position.

"Clint, what did you want to see me about earlier?" Phil asked shutting the door to Natasha's room. Clint looked confused. "In the kitchen this morning just as I left." Phil explained.