John- Leaving

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John and y/n were expecting their second child any day now. Their first, John Jr (Jayjay) was born just before the war and is now 5 years old. The first month John was back, y/n got pregnant. Polly swears it's another boy, and both parents were incredibly excited. Although, as the pregnancy, progressed, y/n grew more achey, nervous and tired. She didn't remember the pain of giving birth, she just remembers the thought that death would be welcomed to stop her agony. It made her so scared for the second child

The first birth lasted 6 hours, wasn't too bad compared to some stories she'd heard of women in labour for several days. Polly and some of her friends had all said that they're second time giving birth was alot quicker than the first so y/n had all fingers crossed. John could sense his wife's nerves so everyday, he came back from work with either flowers, or her favourite cake from the bakery, or a new dress. Just something to cheer her up and take her mind off things

Currently, y/n was lay in bed with John. He had been banished to the very far end of the bed as y/n needed her space. It was early hours of the morning and y/n had been feeling horrid pains all day. She knew it meant her labour would be soon but she didn't expect it so soon

"John, John, john" she said louder each time until her woke up with a groan

"Go get polly"

"Huh?" He sat up

"I think the baby is come" y/n was panicking and had tears in her eyes. John helped her sit on the edge of the bed and hugged her, kissing her cheek

"I'm just gonna phone for polly, are you alright for a minute alone" y/n nodded Although she wasn't too sure. John phoned polly who was on her way whilst her rubbed his wife's back

"You're doing amazing honey" John said timing the contraction on his watch as y/n clung onto his hand with her head on his shoulder

"It doesn't feel right" y/n cried

"Itll all be over soon babe. And then we'll have another little boy"

"No, somethings wrong, it feels different than when I had jayjay" John was worried but tried not to show it for his wife as he whispered sweet nothings into her ear. Polly rushed in at that moment

"Oh love, have your waters broke?"

"I don't think so" y/n panted through a contraction

"You're doing really well, John, normally this would be the point where I'd tell the father to leave but I'm assume you're staying since you refused to leave last time" polly said

"Course I'm staying, if thats what y/n wants"

"Don't leave me, I need you here" y/n begged

"I'm not going anywhere sweetheart" john promised.

"Pol, something dont feel right"

"What do you mean y/n?" Polly asked

"I dont know, its different to johnny. The pain, its all in my back"

"Dont worry love, some babies are just further back than others, which explains why you arent as large as last time"

They spent 2 hours walking around and trying to sleep until y/n was ready to push

She sat up on the bed next to john, holding his hand and leaning on him for support

"OK y/n, push for me" 5 hours...5 hours of pushing and nothing

"I can't do this pol, I'm too tired" she cried. Her legs were shaking from exhaustion and pain

"You're doing really well love. I know it hurts but it'll be worth it in the end" polly promised. Y/n pushed again and polly gasped but hid it quickly

"John, call a doctor" polly said calmly

"Why whats going on?" He asked. Y/n was too tired to pay attention

"Just do as a I say. Tell them that your wife is in labour and there's blood. Tell them to hurry" John ran to the phone. What polly meant by blood, was there was a stream of blood pouring out as the babies head could be seen

"Babies head is almost here, keep going" polly encouraged. Y/n pushed and after 25 more minutes, the head was out but y/n was slipping in and out of consciousness

"Just hang on baby" John begged kissing her forehead. The midwife finally arrived and declared it Was too far along for a hospital and baby would have to be born at home

"Push for me Mrs shelby" there were 3 midwives in the room ready incase something happened. As the babies cries echoed the room, the seemed distant to y/n. John looked at his wife, her skin pale and eyes rolling to the back of her head

"Mr shelby, you need to leave" a midwife said rushing to y/ns side

"But-"

"John, if you get in the way then she could die" polly said pushing him out. It was harsh but she needed him to leave. Jayjay ran to his father happily whilst John was shaking from fear. He hugged his son tightly

"What's wrong daddy?" Johnny asked

"Nothing mate, I'm fine, you go play with your toys for me" and John sat downstairs, head in hands shaking. Tommy and Arthur were both there aswell trying to calm him. After half an hour, polly came downstairs, blood on her dress and a baby wrapped in a towel in her arms. It was clear she had been crying. John jumped up hoping for good news

"Can I go see her?"

"I'm so sorry John, y/n lost too much blood, she didn't make it" he felt his entire world come crumbling down. Polly tried to show him his new son but he couldn't even look, he ran out the house and went to the pub. He couldn't raise those kids alone, they'd be better off without a father at all

3 days later, John had slept in the pub and refused to see his sons. Jay Jay even tried to bring him home but he refused. Well now, Arthur and Tommy were dragging him home

"Look" Tommy said. He looked through the window, jayjay crying on pollys knee and jayjay in his cot

"My boys" John muttered. They got him home and helped him sober up before leaving him to apologise to the kids

"Daddy" johnny yelled happily

"I'm here son, I'm never leaving you again, you hear me, never again" John promised kissing jayjays cheek

"That's OK daddy, is mummy with you?" John felt his heart break. He lifted jayjay onto the sofa and put his youngest in his arms as they sat together

"Mummy got very poorly. And I'm afraid she cant come back, shes gone up to heaven to be with your nannie and grandad" by that John meant y/ns parents who died a couple months before

"So it's just us?" Jayjay asked sadly

"Ye mate, its just us. We'll miss her loads, best mummy ever wasn't she, but we'll remember her. And, I'll try and be a better dad. I'll learn how to cook and clean and I swear, we'll be ok just the 3 of us"

"Daddy, new baby brother doesn't have a name. Polly said it was your job" johnny says

"Hmmm...why don't you name him?"

"Really?" He asked joyfully

"Ye go on, whatever you like"

"Can we name him Danny?" John chuckled

"You want to name him after the cat?"

"Yep" John laughed but agreed. It was a bittersweet moment. To name a child is bliss, but to do it alone is a person's worst nightmare, losing someone when you need them most, knowing that every milestone for your child, is a reminder that she isn't here to watch. But John gave his sons a good life, and he made sure they knew stories of their mother

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