Lulled Heart | s. Chishiya

Four

Companionship

Slight Tw! - self harm-ish

The water was turned to the hottest setting, she could feel it stinging the more she rubbed her skin. She couldn't stop, she was trying to clean off any blood that she thought could still be on her.

She felt disgusting, she was feeling every worst emotion possible. When the game was completed, she wanted to talk to and interrogate the lady who was wearing the horse mask, maybe get some information out of her. She had saw how the lady started freaking out and she had tried to calm her down but then her neck exploded, Hikaru was then covered in blood, the entire top half of her body was.

In that moment she was confused and shocked, but she didn't want to seem weak in front of others, she needed to shut out her emotions. She of course was feeling sick, nauseous, disgusted, and faint, knowing the adrenaline in her was running out. She can remember how she stood up and went silent. Chishiya and her had made eye contact but she didn't say anything, she just stood there, she wondered if he could see her shaking and see what emotions she was truly feeling in that moment by looking in her eyes.

She had released a shaky sighed and looked around seeing the shaggy haired man, the girl who was a climber, looking at her, those eyes that examined her, shock, fear, disgust, and horror. She could only guess what pity they felt for her. Chishiya remained silent and looked at her with no judgement or emotion. Just looked at her. Then she finally walked out without talking to anyone.

Walking back to the beach she didn't bother talking to anyone, everyone eyed her seeing how she was covered in blood. Whispering among themselves noting that this wasn't the first time she had showed up covered in all red, knowing they were judging her and though the worst of her.

Immediately walking into her room seeing Junseo sitting at the desk, he had looked up at her and his eyebrows raised in surprise , she didn't say anything and turned into the bathroom.

Taking her back to reality and remembering what she was doing, she couldn't stop rubbing her arms, feeling her skin become raw, she felt disgusting, and she wanted to stop the feeling of how the blood covered her. She was shaking and tears were being mixed with the water, making their way down her face.

She hated the beach, she hated these games she had to play, she hated herself. Her urge to just walk into Hatters room and get him to talk of where the cards were hidden was getting stronger. She wanted to end the beach, she wanted to get away, to escape.

She finally stopped rubbing her skin the moment she realized of how much it was starting to hurt, in some spots on her arm she could see places that were starting to bleed. The hot water wasn't helping at all but it was either to release her emotions alone or not at all. She wouldn't accept anyone seeing her like this, not even Junseo.

She needed to relax, to calm down, to get her emotions back in check and push them away where they wouldn't reveal themselves because once she stepped out of this shower she would not be able to show them at all. She was letting the water take her emotions down the drain.

Turning off the water she sighed, she felt somewhat better after the emotional rainfall she went through in the shower. She looked at herself in the mirror, she could see the steam come off of her skin, it looked like she had an aura of some sort, just coming off of her. Some patches of her arms were so raw they were red, like she scratched off her skin and was left with the raw flesh.

She felt like an insecure teenager, just staring at herself in the mirror wondering how she can fix herself. When in reality it was all in her mind, there was nothing wrong with her, this feeling was all mental, the fact that the women died was not her fault.