Promise

As soon as I opened my eyes I knew it would be difficult to keep my new year's resolution. This is not something I wanted for new years. I guess. I push myself up from the bed and sit up.

"You want some coffee?" I'm quite sure my brain's messing with me. I heard those words wrong, didn't I? He just asked me if I wanted his body? He wasn't looking at me until now. It's been a few seconds and I haven't answered him yet.

He looks at me "huh- What?"

"Do you want some coffee?"

"Yeah, sure. I.... I'll get it myself." I stand up, and what I didn't see coming is the head rush that hits me like a ducking bull dozer. I miss the next few steps and get hold of the chair, where Trae was sitting.

He wasn't aware of my fall until my fingers touched his bare back while trying to hold the chair.

Yes.

He was sitting there.

In the morning.

Without a shirt.

Exposing that 'ripped as hell' body.

And not having even a clue!!! That it's driving me crazyyyy!

Trae turns around in a flash and holds my wrist "what the-? Are you okay?"

"Yeah yeah I am" Oh! I'm so not!

I get myself together and walk towards the washroom. I close the door and rest my forehead on it. Why did you do this Cora? Why on earth did you choose to get drunk last night? Of all the other days in my entire life, stupid stupid me chooses to get drunk on a 31st night.

I walk in front of the mirror and take a look at myself in it. After I've brushed my teeth I decide to take a shower. I usually don't shower this early in the morning but I just suddenly feel the need to wash myself. I don't know why but I want to wash the memories away. The feelings away. Whatever it is, I want it to end.

I step inside the bathtub after I've filled it with lukewarm water. As soon as I close my eyes. Everything about last night starts to come back. I shut my eyes as hard as I could and splash water in my face. But it doesn't stop.

Flashback to last night....

I really really really wish this works. It's probably not such a good idea but I just want it to work. There's nothing else that I could've done in such a short time. And Tessa needs this really badly.

It's been 4 days since she hasn't come out of her room. I've tried calling her, showing up at her place, but she just won't answer anyone. I did leave her plenty of voice mails and audio messages. Telling her that things are gonna be alright. But I can't really feel what she's feeling.

Jack and Cicely decided to split up and sort things out. They're not getting a divorce right away. But they're gonna stay apart for the rest of the season.

Tessa finally decided to talk to me last night. She needs to get it out. Whatever she's feeling she needs to tell someone about it, I've always known this for a fact that Tessa does not deal very well with surprises.

And somehow she came to know about her parent's separation just after Christmas. Last night she stayed over at my house. Tessa kept crying most of the night. After a while she did fall asleep and so did I.

I heard her whipping in the middle of the night again. I hugged her and asked her to say it out loud. She needs to let it all out. "Why are they doing this? I've seen my parents yell at each other before. They can just yell at each other again. And sort everything out!" I want to tell her that things don't always resolve after yelling.