Do you guys ever get comments from total haters? Usually something along the lines of, "what your doing is stupid. Grow up." Or, "I bet your not as pretty as your profile pic." Well here is a list of comebacks you can use, for free, you don't have to ask permission or anything. Also, if you have any others to add, I totally will!
Slick Responses to Hate Comments
I'm sorry, I'm too busy to ignore you right now.
You're just jealous
I don't speak Karen.
Wow, if I ran like your mouth I'd be supermodel skinny.
Sorry you feel that way, or whatever.
Dude, you just gave me such a big word salad that I think you were calling me fat on top of all that.
Um, excuse me, but my pronouns are “none.” Do not refer to me. If you do so, you are disrespecting my identity. I may need to report you for this.
*tears up * That's the BEST compliment I've had all day! You had no idea how much I needed that encouragement. You're like a breath of fresh air in this horrible world we live in. Keep being awesome :)
Would you like a bag of chips with that?
No hablo inglés. (means “I don't speak english” in spanish)
You kiss your mother with that mouth?
I seriously never asked for your opinion.
You're the reason God created the middle finger.
Roses are red, violets are blue, go cry me a river, oh boo hoo.
I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and make a better comeback than that in the toilet.
I would make fun of you, but I'd be pointless cuz it would take you the rest of the day to figure it out.
*they're
Aww, it's so cute to watch you try to talk about things you don't understand.
Well, I'd agree with you, but then we'd both be wrong.
Who let you out of your cage?
Somewhere out there is a tree tirelessly producing oxygen so you can breathe. I think you owe that tree an apology.
I offended you with my opinion? You should hear the ones I keep to myself.
Do I hear something? Nah, probably just the wind.
Hey, John called and said he wants his idiot back.
Your family tree must be a cactus cuz you're such a prick.
You're about as useful as a screen door on a submarine.
Oh darling you can't fix yourself by breaking someone else.
I love it when someone insults me. It means I don't have to be nice anymore.
I'd challenge you to a battle of wits but it seems you came unprepared.
Your backend must be pretty jealous of all the crap that comes out of your mouth.
Because blueberries don't eat ferns, Marcos doesn't have thirty six, so therefore, aliens don't wear hats. You didn't get that? Oh sorry. I was trying to speak moron like you.
These next ones are more specific
“Get a life.”
“Like yours? Nah, I'll pass.”
“You're so ugly.”
“Oh, I was just trying to look like you today, my bad.”
“Nobody likes you.”
“I'm not responsible for their bad taste.”
“Your belly is so big.”
“Yeah, unlink your brain.”
“Go to hell.”
“Nah, I don't wanna go to your house.”
“You're stupid.”
“And what did you do to make you Einstein?”
Goofball Replies for all us Fellow Weirdos
But the real question is, do you like tacos?
As the prophecy foretold.
That's what they said before i killed them
Yo mama so (fill in the blank)
*starts swearing in some cryptic language *
I touched your wenis XD (if you know you know)
Yay, welcome to the Me haters club!
Never gonna give you up! Never gonna let you down! Never gonna run around and desert you!
*starts quoting anime *
You humor me, mere mortal, but I learned long ago that your futile insults are nothing more than an adumbration of the true nature of your transient souls. Try all you want, but I have seen your nations rise and fall, seasons turn endlessly, and non-eternal beings like you drop like flies, and your words can never penetrate the everlasting walls of my heart.
YOU ARE READING
Slick and Funny Responses to Hate Mail/Comments
RandomExactly as the title describes! all are free to use
