Building the Bridge between us

Chapter 1:Who am I

(Hey everyone this is gonna be a bit of a departure from my normal stories as this is a concept I've wanted to explore for a few days and have had a lot of help with forming interms of ideas and molding the concept there will be a slight TW: implied self harm, intrusive thoughts, depression, etc.)

-Shiro's P.O.V-
I wake up to the sound of my phone's alarm clock blaring like I do every morning. I reach over and shut it off however I don't get up right away for the moment I look up at my ceiling wondering what the point of getting up is anymore. I hear voices the same ones telling me moms waisting her time and money on my therapy...that I'm a mistake and a burden... . I shake my head and go to the bathroom I take a shower brush my teeth and get ready for another miserable day at school. I get there and go straight to my first class but while walking I bump into a girl "Oh uh sorry about that."

She looks at me "Oh don't worry about it man I'm Bex what's your name?" I look at her and take her hand shaking it "It's Shiro." I help her pick up her stuff when this other girl walks up who's clearly her girlfriend "Hey back off she's got a girlfriend loser." I simply look at the girl "Tch. Whatever I was just helping her..." I stand up and walk into the class and sit in the back where I always do with my head down to drown out the noise of my classmates entering I feel several stings from underneath the bandages on my left arm. I think back to that day the day of my father's anniversary of his death and that day I was told to kill myself. After hearing what they said....Maybe their right...My life is pointless anyways....I have no one left in my corner other than mom. I run out of class not caring about what the teacher had to say in that moment.

I run into the hall and grab a small pack out of my locker and then head to the bathroom locking myself into a stall. I fumble with the plain white packing for a while before finally getting it open taking out the shiny blade seeing both sides of it wrapped in a safety seal so people don't accidently cut themself...oh yea what about purposely? I take off the cover and then set the blade against my arm with medium pressure. Without even any input from me the pressure and sharpness of the razor digs into my flesh immediately causing a shooting pain to stab me. I slowly move it across hissing softly. I wanna stop...no...they told me to kill myself...thats what im gonna do...I keep going until i reach my vein...but something stops me....im not sure what it is...but its like my arm is frozen in place...pain...? I started igorning that a while ago...oh right....basic human instict to live.....i try to go against it but eveything in my head is telling me no...I sigh and set the razor down watching my own scarlet red blood drip onto the tiles for a while before i get the message to clean up. It takes me a while to stop the bleeding enough so it doesnt soak through my clothes. I wrap up my arm and scrub blood off the floor before sliding the razors back into its case and pocketing it....You know...some part of me wishes someone would stop me...the other part...wishes i could just fade away without a trace.

I rub my arm suppressing that day and keep my head down till Bex sits next to me "Hey sorry about that she's always like that I'm gonna make it up to you. Take this." She hands me her number. I give her mine although hesitantly. After school my mom picks me up and drops me off at my therapists office where I sit on her couch and twiddle with my thumbs "Hello Shiro how are you feeling today?" I look at her "I'm fine I guess." She nods "Good good. No incidents today I see so that's good it shows important progress is being made." Again I nod "Y-yea I'm trying those steps you gave me...it helps to feel like there's something out there that can help..." We talk for a while about past traumas I cry and feel better because Dr. Michaels helped me realize that the guilt I felt around my dad's death is just survivors guilt and that I couldn't have done anything to stop those events. I go home and sit in my room and do my homework occasionally looking at my social media and seeing negative comments about me on there except one from Bex. I finish my work and go to bed putting this day behind me.