The Pat Fic

A/N - Somehow this fic was deleted, but it's back and better than ever! I added stuff too! - FallOutChurro

hi so lyke my name is patrick vaughn stump it used to be patrick martin stumph but i changed it cuz dat was a loooser name. i have a friend named pete and i love him (not lyke dat, dis isnt creepy fanfic) and we write songz and stuff. i wear a lotta hats and im more swagtastic then the other preps in my band lyke joe and andy bc they r posers and they kill peeple but its not nice to kill people. so welcome to my lyfe.

"yo patrick come help us scrifce children 2 le illuminati" sed my bandmates andy and joe. i cheered loudly. "woo yay murder iz fun!"

i was so exited 2 help my bruhs with the murdur but then pete wentz came in and ruined everythang.

i h8 pete wentz that prepmuffin loser.

"hey guys im here to ruin ur lifes" pete sed evilly.

"ew no way you PREPMUFFIN" i sed, puttin up my middle finger @ him. "go back to ur boyfrand moikey"

"but hes not my boyfrand bruh" pete whined all emo. "you are the one i luve, patrick."

i was sick of this. i was 2 fabulus 4 pete the preppy muffin loser. "i no love u petey. go back to le trash where u belongs." i sassed him.

"guys come on bruhs we gotta sacrifice children 2 le illuminati" joe sed suddenly.

"ya pete were gonna have fun worshippin satin without u lol XVXVXVXVX" andy said sassily.

i loved andy. he was sexy and sassy, the total package. 1 day he would be as good a sass queen as i was.

"bruh murdur is illegal sorry bruh" pete sed. he freed the child we wanted to sacrifece to satin. "now go smol baby emo. have le good life. screem into le void and eat peeeples faces."

"thx pete" the child cheered, running into the void screeeming.

"i h8 u pete wentz! now i can never be a sinner!" joe cryed. he ran away 2 comb his pretty hair.

andy cryed 2 and wentz (haha geddit WENTZ) 2 cover his sexy bod in tattoos.

i had enough of pete's emo prepmuffin hot topic angst by now. i was gonna make him PAY 4 ruining fall down boyz lifes.

"pete i half to punish u now you stoopid PREP" i scowled all mean and scary.

"pls no!" he begged. "i sorry pat. pls lemme live my lifes."

i went all angry now.  nobody calls me pat.

well this one guy did call me pat during warped tour 05 (YAY fun times mikey broke petes hart and inspired band the doodooms WOO) but i stranguld him 2 deth with me fedora.

best summer of my lifes.

"YOU WORTHLESS PREPMUFFIN NOBODY CALLS ME PAT! I MUST KILL U!" i screeched. 

"patrick chill pls no kill me i just had a baby named bronx and i wanna not die so i can raise him pls patrick." pete cryed tears of eyeliner n tragedy n livejournal crap.

"ok fine but i will ruin ur lifes," i said. i sparred him bc i am a nice person. always b polite. "FEDORA POWERS ACTIVATE!"

my fedora came off my hed and sparkled (not like edward cullen tho twilight sux) and i chanted a magick spell.

"AVADA KEDAVRA EMO!" i screeched. a spell hit pete and he started to thrust around and moan. he screeemed "patrick no! stop!"

i didnt stop lol i watched that stoopid prep suffer.

petes black emo fringe fell off. "ME HAR NO!" he cryed as a stoopid bleech blonde harcut grew in its place. then his emo het topic clandestine clothe turned into a crop top and booty shorts.

"no. i am pathetic homeboy doomed to surf the net for eternity. woe is me." he cryed.

"did ya learn ur lesson petey?" i smirked. 

"yes. i sorry patrick." petey cryed.

and then we all lived our lifes happy ever after at the expense of the death of an emo prepmuffin and pete got rickrolled everyday for 2007 years.

le end.