"Love Yourself..." TBHK Kou x Reader

Chapter 2

"I-I am so sorry! I didn't mean to run into you.." You look up. You see the cutest boy you've ever seen in your entire life. You get lost in his dazzling blue eyes. They remind you of the sky. "Uh, are you okay? It seems like you were crying." He wipes a tear of your cheek. Your cheeks turn rosy pink. He smiles and helps you up. "Hi, I'm Minamoto Kou! What's your name?" His smile makes you blush even more. "I-I'm Y/N." His smile slowly fades. "Mind if you tell me why you were crying?"

"I-Uh, why do you wanna know?"

"Because, it's never good to be crying! Talking about it makes people feel better."

"But we just met! Why do you even care?" He comes close to your face and says; "Cause I do!" You look at him and your face turns a bright red.

It's hard to even believe someone that you don't even know cares.

 "I-um, caught my boyfriend/girlfriend/partner cheating. He/She/They was making out with another student. But it's my fault. I wasn't good enough-" Kou grabs your face. "Why would you say that? It's not your fault he/she/they cheated. And, you were good enough. He/She/They doesn't deserve you!"

You know he isn't right, Y/N. 

You know you will never be good enough.

 Those words, make you cry. You start tearing up. "W-Why are you crying?"

"n-No one has ever said that to me before. That I'm good enough. That he/she doesn't deserve me. Kou, thank you. That really means a lot to me." You lie, seeing that your lie brings a pleasant look upon his face. "So, no one has ever said anything nice to you? Even in your relationship?" 

Silence.

 "Yeah."

Kou stares at you for a quick second, then slowly looking away.

"Not even your family?"

"I don't like to talk about my relatives."

 Kou looks at you with sincere worry, and grabs both of your hands and places them in his, leaving you in a scarlet red-faced trance.

"Are you okay." He asks seriously.

"Yeah!" You smile, tears forming in your eyes.

He slowly formed a tiny smile on his face, knowing you were "okay".

But he doesn't have to know that you are one good heck of a liar.

Kou looks at his watch. "Uh, I'm so sorry, but I have to go!" He quickly writes down his number and gives it to you. "Here Y/N, for you!" You stare in complete shock. "Let's talk more tomorrow! Bye!" He says with a cute grin on his face. "Bye..." You trailed off, staring at him as he leaves you.

You realize you are still on the cold, hard floor of your school. You quickly stand up, hoping to get out of the school building before it closes. 

"That was like, weird." You say to yourself.

Everything about him, that Minamoto Kou was just so...

bedazzling.

It'd been a long while since you had ever even thought of that word. 

"Sleep, my child, I'll never let you go," The little tune fills your head.

"Let's go far, far away, to our fantasy dream land.

     No one can ever be hurt again, we'll never cry again.

    Our tears form the soft puddles of our little dream land.

   The stars shine, and the people sing,

   They can't wait to see us again.

   The town is so wonderful and kind, and it is your happy place.

  Everything about it is just so bedazzling, isn't it, N/N?"

Falling.

Tears falling.

Dying.

People dying.

Crying.

'Y/N always cries, he/she/they're so emotional.' they say.

But they'll never know what it feels like to have this raw pain on your back.

"I miss you so much," You barely manage to get out.

You run home, tears falling like a waterfall from your face. You unlock your door, and rush to your bed, you muffle your tears with your pillow. But, in reality, no one's gonna hear you're crying. Because you have no one. You smile knowing you don't have a reason to live anymore. 

"When will this torture ever end?"

You know the answer to that, but you'll never admit it.

It's never going to end.

Your eyes slowly start to close, your pillow damp. You aren't asleep though. You stare at the blade at the drawer on the other side of your bed. You grab it, gliding your finger against the sharp cutter.

"I wonder what this could do?" You sigh.

You lead the blade up to your neck.

You realize how easy it could be to just die as of now. You press the item harder on your neck.

"No, no.. 

  I can't do this."

But you can, Y/N! It's so very simple.

I thought you realized there's no point for you to keep breathing at this point.

Tears drip from your eyes, and you soon start bawling once again. You don't want to live, but yet you still keep breathing anyway. 

'What is wrong with me?'

Everything, Y/N, everything.

And it could all just end right now.

You drift off to sleep, wandering what could've happened if you actually did it.

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Yeah so i edited this again hope you enjoyed. btw this book is gonna be a lot more angsty than it has ever been before.

9/11/23