Behind The Alpha Series Book 6 Oliver

Chapter 4

(Chapter song ‘Voices' by Hidden Citizens)
EZRA

‘I’m tired.’
‘Stop whining.’
‘I’m thirsty.’
‘Fine.’

The wind blows and my wolfs body rearranges. 
It’s dark and the clouds cover the moon, making the woods even darker.  I need sleep, but I need the juice more.  She’s had control for too long.  I feel to smothered.  I need to take that away. 
I stop and drop my pack.  I pull out a pair of jeans and a small black sweater.  I throw them on and pull on some socks with my boots.
I scoop my long black hair with red tips into a ponytail and pin it back.  It’s almost a relief to not have fur.  
My skin is cover in muck, but I don’t care.  No fur is more important. 
‘Don’t get used to it, precious.”
I scowl and close my bag.  “Shut the fuck up.”  I throw my pack on and start walking through the trunks. 
‘This is just a pause.  I’ll beat you down.  The challenge isn’t over.'
“Bring it, bitch.”  I growl.
Suddenly, my brain is slammed with teeth, drool and growls.
“ARGH!!”  I grit and stumble into a tree.  “No…Fuck…You!”  I clench as I struggle against her power. 
‘I’m Alpha, precious!  You’re the worm!’
“Stop it!”  I growl loud as I slam the heel of my hand on forehead. 
‘NO!  I’M LEADER OF THIS PACK!  YOU WILL SUBMIT TO ME!’
“I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU FIRST!!”  I yell as I fall to my knees.
My voice echoes through the trees, scaring birds and myself. 
My eyes glow red.  “No.”  I pant.
I pull my bag to the front and remove a chain around my neck. 
‘You think that will stop me, you filthy bitch!’
I grind my teeth.  “I know it will.”  I say low as I roll up my sleeve. 
I pull out a baggy and open it.  Pulling out a rubber band, I wrap it around my bicep and pull it tight with my teeth and hand. 
I lift the vial with a small amount of Croak in it.  Grabbing a syringe, I pull the cap off with my teeth.  I take the cap off the vial and put the needle into it.  I fill the needle and cap the vial.  I have one more hit, then I’m going to have to come up with another plan.  It’s not like I can go to the source anymore. 
I find a vein and insert the drug into my system. 
I drop the needle on my bag and release the band. 
A smile creeps across my lips as the Croak enters my mind.
‘No!’
“Kiss my ass…”  I say as I rest my head on the tree. 
I feel her fight the Croak as her body becomes one with mine.  The madness in her mind joins the madness in mine.  The hallucinations swirl and twist.  Her red eyes smear across my brain and she whines.  I hear the whine leave my lips. 
“Hello?”  I ask as I roll my head to the other side.  My narrow eyes look as the dancing, bending trunks.  The clouds turn a dark purple color and the moon looks blood red. 
“Hello.”  I answer back. 
The world starts to come back and I feel the power.  The broken puzzle is fused and my mind is quiet.  She growls and claws against my ribs. 
“Behave.”  I growl low. 
My brain becomes controllable and I feel I can focus.  The world becomes quiet and the noise doesn’t hurt my brain anymore.  The anger is shoved down her throat and exhaustion sets in.  I feel my head droop and my eyes close. 
“I’m…Alpha…”  I mutter as I pass out.

****

I don’t know what time it is, but the sun is dancing in the branches.  I shield my eyes from its intensity.  I look around me on the ground. 
I pick up my chain in the dried leaves.  Holding the vial up, I tilt the liquid back and forth in it.  “Thanks.”  I breathe. 
I pack myself up and stand.  I brush the dirt off and start walking again.  I’ll be good for a couple of weeks now.  I feel my strength back and the rational side of my brain is mine for now.  At least we won’t die. 
I need food.  Not her food.  My food. 
As I walk, I stumble across a cabin.  I come up through the back of it and sniff the air for any scents as I approach.  I walk up to its rough board wall and peek into a window.  It’s tiny.  One room and occupied with things the person who owns it left behind. 
I slowly walk around to the corner leading to the front. 
There’s a fire pit in front, but it’s not used.  I step out and look around the small cleared out area.  I adjust my strap as I turn to the crudely built porch. 
I take one last look around and head in.  The loose latch door opens and I walk in.  It’s warm and dark. 
A cot sits against the wall and a pile of boxes sit on the other side. 
I drop my pack and walk to the cardboard boxes.  I open one and pull out a large, thick grey sweatshirt.  I hold it to my face and sniff.  It feel so soft and comfy and it smells so good.  A far cry from the sick smell of death I’m constantly walking in. 
I place the box of clothes aside and open another one. 
I pull out cans of food.  Glorious food.  My mouth waters bad as I look for a way to open the can of beans. 
I bang it off the floor and try to pull the top off with a growl.  Frustrated, I throw it across the cabin.  My anger starts to build as I search the box for food I can eat.  I pull out a thing with two handles.  It has a twist thing at the top where the handles meet.
I hold it up to my eyes as my fingertips turn the twister.  My eyes look at it with confusion.  “I know this…”  I say quietly.
I look to the can I threw and walk over to it.
I flop on the floor, splay my legs and slam the can between them on the floor. 
I search my mind, but all I find is blood. 
I turn the thing around in my hand.  The two wheels on the bottom of it look familiar.  I swear I know this. 
I lower the thing to the can.  I try a few times to see how I can put these two together. 
My mind thinks.  Gore, flesh, murder and mayhem fly around my brain like a tornado.  I snarl my lips as I dig into it.  The vision fills with liquid Croak and something comes through. 
My shaky hand puts the wheels to the can and I turn the twisty thing.  I feel the metal of the can get cut.
I huff a laugh as I twist again.  My fingers turn fast as I giggle wildly.  The can opens and I throw the thing across the floor. 
I smell the beans and my stomach eats itself.  The pain is excruciating.  I throw the beans down my gullet, breathing and barely chewing as I scarf the food down.  My body fills with satisfaction as I make a mess of myself.  The pain in my stomach increases as the food hits it. 
No.  I need this.  You can’t take it back. 
I choke back the pounding nausea as I swallow the last of the beans.  I throw the empty can, curl up and hold my stomach, forcing it to accept the food. 
I wince as the pain feels like it’s ripping my insides out. 
I’m not puking.  Not fucking puking. 
I don’t know why it hurts so much to eat, but every time I do, it feels like another fucking battle the bitch in my head throws at me.
The pain has me crying on the floor and I feel the vomit pushing on my throat. 
I roll onto my stomach as my stomach starts to accept the food and the nausea passes.  I huff breathes as I calm myself.
I close my eyes and feel the food digest.  Thank fucking God.  The euphoria of being full makes me want to sleep.
‘There you are, precious.'
My eye shoots open and I start to tremble.  It looks around wildly and the voice echoes around me.
‘I’ve missed you.  Time to come home.’
My eye looks to the door and I spin to my butt. 
A dark figure is standing in the doorway.  His image glistens and shakes in my vision.  I close my eyes and shake my head to focus. 
“What are you doing in here?” 
I open my eyes to a blonde man in a tan jacket.  His image shakes and I’m staring into Michael’s evil eyes.
I shake my head as a tear falls.
‘You’ve been a bad girl, precious.  Running from me is not what good girls do.’
“No…”  Another tear falls.
“What’s wrong with you?”  He steps closer and my vision focuses on a shot gun he’s aiming at me.
My eyes widen as Michael smirks.  “We’re going home.”  He reaches for me.
“NO!!”
I get to my feet and lunge for him.  I grab the shotgun and punch him in his face.  He stumbles back and I aim the shotgun.
“I’m not your precious.”  I grit.
He looks at me with a bleeding nose.  “What?”  He whines.
I pull the trigger and he flies back hitting the wall.  I heave breathes as I watch his body flop onto the floor the gaping hoke in his chest pours blood out onto his shirt and drips onto the floor.  I hitch a breath as I step up to his dead body and fire a second shot into his face. 
A few more tears fall as I hold the shotgun to my side.  My hand is shaking and my heart is pounding. 
My chin trembles.  “I’m not your precious.”  I choke. 
I drop the shotgun and take off my clothes.
I sniff and call the wind.  ‘Bury him.’
‘I could eat him.’
‘Do as I say!’
‘You’re no fun.’

My wolf drags the man’s body outside, leaving a trail of his blood on the old wood floor.  She pulls him into the woods and proceeds to dig his grave.
I curl up in the corner of my mind and cry out all the pain and terror I have in me.  The good thing about being friends with this bitch is she can clean up my messes.  She has no problems dealing with things that hurt me.  Except Michael.  Michael scares us and we can’t touch him.  The torture he dealt me is not what I want to go back to.  I’d rather have this animal in my head eat me alive then have Michael touch me again. 
He knows I’m here.  He’s found me.  I need to hide somewhere else.  Somewhere where he wouldn’t even think to look and I think I know where. 
I shift back and look at the shallow grave of my pain.  I spit on it and walk back to the cabin.  My bare feet stick in his drying blood as I get dressed and pack my bag. 
I leave the cabin and start to walk. 
I walked for a few more days, arguing with the bitch the whole way.  I don’t want fur right now. 
I stop at a creek and squat down.  I take a few handfuls of water and wash my face of some of the grime.
Soon,  I find a road.  I walk along the edge of it. It’s quiet and dark.  The moon hangs high as the small black cloud drift along the star studded sky.  On the horizon, small twinkling lights.  A short distance later, black rooftops come into view.  I stop at a sign.  ‘Eden Territory 50 miles'
I look to the small city and look down at my boots.  Eden sounds good.  I remember a story about Eden.  From another lifetime somewhere.  Maybe it wasn’t my life, but it’s in here somewhere.  I feel it.  If I can get past the revenged flesh, maybe I can remember, but death take precedence over memories. 
I know my normal life knocks on my door, but she keeps it closed.  The Croak let’s some crawl through an open window sometimes, but soon, she’ll shred those too.  She only has one ambition to murder.  Silence the noise that gives us pain.  She lashes out at the confusions in my head and I fight her back because I’m just as confused.  Nothing makes sense and we must kill it.  The Croak puts that to sleep.  For a little while I can talk.  I can understand.  The sense becomes untwisted a little.  I feel there's a solid road I can follow.  Unfortunately, Michael is always at the end of it making me crave the closed connections and just sit in my own blood. 
Hopefully, he’ll never find me in Eden.  Hopefully, no one will find me in Eden.
Not even this bitch inside me.