dancing on bones (our souls of iolites and emeralds)

Chapter 2

"Tears, idle tears, I know not what they mean,

Tears from the depths of some divine despair

Rise in the heart, and gather to the eyes,

In looking on the happy autumn fields,

And thinking of the days that are no more."

― Alfred Lord Tennyson

//

When a person remembers something, they are not simply rewatching a recording in their brain of what they saw.

Memories do not work like videotapes or pictures, he would know. When a person recalls something, their mind attempts to reconstruct their experience based on perceptions. What a person perceives depends greatly on what they were focused on at the time and even then it is difficult to recall things correctly. Their perception might even be completely wrong.

Witnesses testify based on memory but what they remember might not be the truth but instead what they understand and believe to be true. Humans tend to remember what they understand or what they think they understand.

Because the mind of an infant is still in the process of developing, infants are incapable of understanding complex concepts and ideas. As such, they cannot perceive the same way a mature mind can.

This is the reason people are believed to experience infantile amnesia.

Infantile amnesia is a phenomenon that describes a mature mind's incapability to remember an event that occurred when they had an underdeveloped mind.

He hadn't experienced infantile amnesia before, having been able to recall life from the moment of delivery, so it's odd that he's experiencing any form of it (no matter how short-lived) now. Trauma from rebirth, perhaps? It hadn't, after all, been a pleasurable experience.

Besides the awful, awful memory of being birthed (something he never wanted to experience again, two times was more than enough), his first memory was a lullaby.

Still in the hospital, and slightly disoriented, he could recall the warm sensation of being held, swaying as a man hummed and sang a sweet song to him.

"Bless you," the man went, "baby." *

He rocked, back and forth, back and forth as the melody continued on.

"Welcome to life, full of delight."

Candles were lit and he could remember an air of festivity filling the hospital room with tidings of celebration.

"Bless you, baby," His father sang softly, "This blessing charm keeps you from harm."

And he remembers. He remembers everything.

"Oh my baby, how I love you."

He isn't sure why his consciousness returns to him at that moment, but he is grateful for it nonetheless.

"Goddess bless you," His father strokes loose strands of hair, still singing, "Light of the moon encircle you."

Kusuo falls asleep before he can hear the rest of the lullaby.

//

His new name was Felix, which was Latin for "lucky" or "fortunate".

Slightly incongruous, considering his life, but Kusuo could always enjoy a bit of irony, particularly when directed at himself.

His middle name is Oleander, after his new mother, he thinks. They were poisonous things and he thinks the name suits him quite nicely.

His real name is Kusuo, which means 'Camphor tree.'