Easy come, easy go. Carolina held her breath in as the rain drizzled down and gently pounded against the holy ground that surrounded her sight. She gazed in awe as the weather withered and had almost forgotten about the girl who had broken her heart the day prior.
It shouldn't matter anymore, right? There shouldn't be any reckoning steps down Memory Lane, right? Wrong. All gravelly wrong. At least she tried . . . right?
She truly would've risked it all for Grace. A bullet to the brain, hands to a blade, jumping right in front of a train and even catch a grenade. For fucks sake, she'd die for her. However, Grace wouldn't do the same. Or at least, that's what Carolina manipulated herself to believe.
Did it ever once crossed Grace's mind how much she meant to Carolina? Instead all Grace ever did was take instead of give.
Carolina mentally took notes of Grace's behavior towards her and was well aware there wasn't much effort put in the relationship from her. Despite knowing this, Carolina still chose to go through all that pain.
See, she might've not known Grace was trouble when she walked in, nor from the first kiss. However, why continue on, if Grace broke the love off? It's something Carolina deliberately refuses to seize.
" Dinner is ready! " Carolina's father hollered from the kitchen, grasping onto the wooden spatula.
Wholly inadequate, she shook her head while locking the gates and ran indoors. She made sure to greet both of her parents and sister right before grabbing a plate from the bulky counter and held it upwards. Today's Dinner was the usual; platanos fritos with Ecuadorian rice.
She took a seat at the dinner table, despite feeling like she was sinking into the subtle depths of despair.
Carolina scrolled through her notifications and noticed her friends had left messages on her online feed.
You haven't published the Inflated Cat song yet. DO IT OR ELSE YOU'RE DEAD TO ALL OF US CAROLINA.
She lightly chuckled at her friend's consistent remarks about her fascination and love for cats. She wasn't even close to being a songwriter like her aspiring singer friends Emma Martinez and Isabel De La Cruz. In fact, Carolina didn't songwrite at all. She was more of an author who seldomly wrote a couple poems from time to time.
Her childhood best friend Austin had ultimately dared both Carolina and Emma to switch 'career aspirations' for the whole week. Emma was supposed to come up with a prologue to an original story that wasn't-related to the my little pony fanfiction she had written on wattpad during middle school. She hinted the title would be 'When Emma Falls In Love', or something like that.
Carolina's duty was to write a song. Austin went soft on her and didn't apply any strict rules for the songwriting task. Having absolutely zero idea what to even write about, Carolina figured that a cat song would make other cat-lovers like Emma or Taylor Swift proud.
Carolina was the proud mother of two cats of her own; Lucy and Karma. They're practically gay for eachother, truthfully speaking.
Even the songwriting dare didn't serve as a true distraction from reality. It's no secret she was holding back from bawling her eyes out at the dinner table. All this pain only made a mess out of her and metaphorically the death of her. All to what, come back to a girl that never deserved her love in the first place?
Camila Cabello's 'Bam Bam' was selected by spotify. It was a song Carolina had heavily streamed since it's release. Ironically, Carolina hadn't even met Grace yet.
Ugh, not this happy crap again, Carolina mumbled to herself. She hastily switched the 'happy mix' station and instead decided to listen to her personalized playlist.
Every mistake turns to moments, but not this one.
Though she had only completed devouring dinner only an hour ago, Carolina headed to the kitchen once again. She latched open the freezer and pined over for the tub of chocolate flavored ice cream that sat stable on the third row.
She maliciously shrieked at the sight of a moth flapping it's paper like wings and hastily ran back to her room. She made sure to not leave the door open and immediately slammed it. The last thing she needed today was a pesky insect grappling and buzzing around her room throughout the entire night.
There's nothing like a tub of ice cream to help ease the weary pain of heartbreak and possibly at your lowest, right? She offered her cat, Lucy, some. Ofcourse no one ever declines an offer for ice cream, so Lucy accepted but only if there were marshmallows sprinkled on top.
Right before devouring another bite of the savory sweetness that glazed beneath her eyes, Taylor fetched a pack of marshmallows for her cat and gently served Lucy some.
Lucy grinned in frivolous delight and dug into the bowl placed right upfront. Literally.
Meanwhile, Carolina scribbled incoherently fraught poetry down in her lavender tinted notebook, reminiscing over the course of the past couple of months. So much had occurred from a subtle september, a malicious mid-march and an ambitious august. 2022 had been a shit wreck of instability.
Back then she didn't give it much thought, yet those were the days she never forgot. How the streetlights flickered in fuming bright red and the post stop that stood across, that forever remained the grave of their spot.
All the times she rushed her morning routine and skipped straightening her streaks of dull brown locks, just so that they could meet up right before homeroom. Those early mornings faded to become forever damned and never spoken of again. So did the texting until Midnight. It was a given that this pain would be forevermore.
And so Carolina wrote . . .
i went through all this pain
because i really did love you
paces back and fourth
into the woods and out
they were 3 words
but you never meant them, did you?
A U T H O R' S. N O T E :
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hi there! it's me, clara and i hope you're enjoying this book so far! even if it's just the prologue. the rest of the book will be set in carolina's pov.
i'm not planning out how this story is going to go. staying true to the title, right?i'll post a playlist chapter soon. the setting of this is late 2022 and will eventually progress to 2023 and 2024.
firstly, this all started as a humorous nonsense chapter, so that explains a lot. ( yes, it always starts as a humorous nonsese chapter *coughs in 'deja vu'*
secondly, i've been wanting to write a sapphic story since 2020, and i did! only like 1 chapter sadly, due to rl and wattpad drama would follow. back then i was "straight" and adored yuri. yeah, totally a straight trait.
