TW: Panic attack, depressing writing, potentially upsetting content.
Tia's POV:
My safe person. The one who kept me steady. The one person who I trusted. Betrayed me. They've betrayed me and I don't know what to do. They kept me steady, and now it turns out they never cared for me.
"Tia, they abused you! How many nights did you go to Veronica and cry into her shoulder all night?!" Ellie snaps. Ellie's being mean. I don't want Ellie to be mean. They didn't abuse me. I don't think they did. I did cry about them to Veronica a lot though.
"T-They didn't! You're lying, Ellie!" I sob. I'm crying. I don't want to cry. I want to be happy, not sad. I feel unsteady. I don't wanna be unsteady anymore. I want someone but I don't know who. I don't think it's my ex. I think it's Veronica.
I want to stop crying. I can't stop. Tayce and Ellie keep yelling at me and then at each other. I want them to stop yelling. I need them to stop screaming. I just want them to stop screaming now. I don't like the screaming. I really hate the screaming.
I feel like my throat is bleeding. I need something to distract me from the yelling and the aching in my throat. I look at my arms. They feel itchy. Like the inside of my skin is itchy. I try to scratch them, but it only makes my arms hurt.
They hurt. I'm shaking. I can't stop shaking and I wanna stop feeling unsteady and I wanna be calm but I'm not calm. Tayce and Ellie are having a screaming match. I want them to stop. I tell them to stop, but Ellie turns to me, and then...
She slaps me.
She hit me. She fucking hit me. I burst out crying, and Tayce screeches at Ellie. Everything is worse now. Everything is worse now and I don't want everything to be worse now and I want everything to be okay but things aren't okay and I don't like it.
I'm screaming. I wanna stop. I want Tayce and Ellie to stop screaming but I'm also screaming and I don't like screaming and I wanna stop screaming and I want Tayce and Ellie to stop screaming now too. I want them to stop now. I don't like it at all.
I wanna stop crying, my throat is hurting, it feels raw and I want someone to hold me. I don't want Tayce or Ellie. I want someone else. I think I know who I want. I want Veronica. She always can get me to calm down. I want Veronica now.
That's who I want. I want Veronica. Ellie and Tayce are the only ones here and they're shouting at me. I want Ronnie. I don't want Ellie and Tayce to be shouting at me. I feel like I'm drowning in my own tears and I hate it so fucking much.
"Ronnie! I want Ronnie!" I scream. I feel like I'm gonna throw up. I feel absolutely pathetic. Tayce looks at me and she looks concerned. She takes a deep breath and grabs her phone. I can't calm down and I wanna stop crying and I wanna stop crying right now because I hate crying.
"Okay, calm down, I'll call Ronnie. That's Veronica, Veronica Green, right?" Tayce tries to get me calm. I nod to answer her question and Tayce runs out. Ellie scowls at me. I don't know why she's so mad at me. I want her to stop being so mad at me.
"You're fucking hopeless. You know that? You're hopeless." Ellie snarls. She thinks that I'm hopeless. I don't wanna be hopeless though. I'm hopeless. I don't wanna be hopeless anymore. I don't like being hopeless and I don't wanna be hopeless anymore and I hate it and I hate being hopeless.
"I-I'm not hopeless... Ellie, I'm not hopeless! Stop it, Ellie!" I scream. She scoffs at me again. She keeps scoffing at me and I don't want her to scoff at me and I don't know why she's being so mean to me and I want her to stop it.
"Yes you are!" Ellie is screaming. I don't want her to scream and she's being so fucking mean and I don't want her to be mean but she's being mean and I really don't want her to be mean. Tayce is coming back into the room. She's breathing really heavily.
"Veronica will be here soon. What the hell happened here?!" Tayce wheezes. She's out of breath. She needs to breathe and I don't want her to be out of breath and she needs to breathe and she needs to breathe now. I want to stop crying. I want Tayce to breathe.
"This fucking bitch is so fucking hopeless." Ellie snaps. She thinks I'm hopeless. Tayce doesn't look pleased with Ellie. Tayce is snarling and Ellie is staring into Tayce's eyes. Her eyes look grey and fiery. I don't like this. They're gonna start fighting and I want them to stop.
"The only one being a bitch here is you!" Tayce screeches. I don't want them to fight. I know Tayce is defending me but I don't want them to fight, I want them to stop fighting, I hate the fighting and the yelling and I hate it so fucking much.
"Please stop..." I whimper. I'm being pathetic. I can't say more than a few words. I want to say more. Make myself more clear. I want to talk above a whisper. Louder than a whisper. My voice feels like it's blown out. It's hurting a lot.
They keep fighting and I want them to stop and I want them to stop now. I don't like it. I want them to stop. I don't like it when they fight. The doorbell rings and Tayce goes downstairs. After a minute or two, she comes back up with someone. I hear a new voice.
"Tia? Are you okay?"
VOCÊ ESTÁ LENDO
I'll Keep You Steady
Fanfic"Don't go... Please don't go!" "I'm not leaving. I'm here, you're okay." "Don't go, please," "I won't. I promise. I'll keep you steady,"
