"Love is it final?, you're going?" I asked my boyfriend. "Yes love, I'm sorry. I don't wanna neglect the opportunity to study abroad" he answered me. "Just remember love, this is for our own good, for our future" he added.
My boyfriend is Jungkook. We've been together for 5 years. Now his father offered him to study abroad, and he can't refuse because it is indeed a nice opportunity.
"Love, we won't lose contact, right? We will always message each other?" My boyfriend asked me. "Of course love, you know I can't stand not talking to you for a day" I replied to him.
This is hard for us. But I know we will surpass this. I trust him very much and I know he won't disappoint me. We will reach our dreams, supporting each other 'til the end.
"Let's spend the rest of the night together love, let's cherish this moment first before I leave" my boyfriend requested. Who am I to refuse?
"I will wait for you, my love. You'll go there too, right?" Jungkook asked. "Yes love, I will. Just wait for me there." I assured him. "I will wait for you, let's trust each other" Jungkook said. "Promise me you'll wait for me" I requested, "I promise, my love" he kissed my forehead.
Years have passed. Finally going to see the love of my life again. I'm in the office where he works. He's now a CEO of their company. I'm so proud of my man. He reached his dream. I can't wait to be with his arms again after so many years. Finally.
I walked on the hallway and now I'm in front of his office. "CEO Jeon" wow, so proud of him. So happy and very overwhelmed. I'm so excited yet very nervous. I opened the door because I wanna surprise him. We wait very long for this moment.
Yet what I saw broke me into pieces. It's like I was a fragile glass that have been thrown from a very high building. My world had turned grey and for the first time in my life, I feel hopeless.
He's with a girl, a girl sitting on his lap. They look very happy with the accompany of each other, kissing and hugging each other. I was a crying mess, I refused to believe everything I saw even though it was literally in front of my eyes, it's so hard to believe. I was so dumb. I thought his love for me was unconditional that even 'distance' won't ever change it. But it did. I thought he also waited for this moment.
That was what I thought. I believed what you said for 3 fucking years, Jungkook. That's what I'm holding on to.
I didn't give up on both of us. It was you who left. It was you who broke your promises. It was you... whom I trusted the most yet all you ever did was betray me. Is it hard to wait? Am I not worth the wait?
I'm so dumb for not noticing the tiny little hints. I ignored all the red flags because I love you and trusted you. I believed in the thought that maybe... maybe you're just tired. Maybe you want to rest. How can you be so tired while talking to me, when you told me before that I was your rest? I'm your life's battery charger, right? right...
Back then I told myself that It's okay, maybe you're busy. I defended you when they said that it's really obvious that you're losing interest. I defended you when they said you're just waiting for me to call it off. Damn, I even defended you to everyone when they said that you might have found someone else. I defended you... even in myself. I chose you.
I never believed anyone. I told myself that I should trust you more. I pretend to not know anything and stay blind so I won't lose you. And I'm so dumb for not noticing that I already lost you on the day you said goodbye. I already lost you while I'm on your arms, cuddling you for the last time.
Three fucking years, Jungkook. Yet, I stayed dumb. I played stupid. Maybe it's my fault too. For trusting you too much, for loving you too much, for believing your promises too much. It was all 'too much' and it hurts so much. While waiting for you, I lost myself.
It was nearly a love tale. Sometimes I wonder, what if you stayed? What if you didn't leave? Would you cheat? Those questions linger on my mind up until now. It should be me, I should be the one with you. I should be with you while reaching your dreams. I thought the reason why you left was for our future, was for us, well I just thought.
I'm just your once upon a time, but she's your happily ever after.
Be happy with her, my love.
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