Diaries

Chapter 10

We didn't talk about it.

Leo's lips were too busy against my skin, and I couldn't help but let him. When I'd otherwise tell him to back off, he was the only person I'd felt safe with in a long time, maybe in my life. It didn't help that I was high, and while I'd lost my mind it was still intact in the depths of my thoughts.

Should I be here right now?

Where else do you have to go?

Is this the right boy?

Who else would be?

Will I regret it?

Of course, regardless of who it is, nothing ever ends well.

You're stoned, you can't even think straight right now...

Even more a reason.

I pulled away from Leo, rubbing my nose, sniffling from the discomfort of the powdered substance passing through.

"You're not just using me, are you?" I asked him.

"Jess, I really like you..." he said, his bright blue eyes twinkling like the stars hanging over us.

He reached out and pulled my beanie off of my head, the now purple and bruised lump on my forehead exposed. I gasped and covered it, "give me my beanie back!"

His jaw dropped a little, "what happened?!"

"I got in a ... a car accident." I rolled my eyes, remembering.

He placed the beanie in his lap and reached out to push my hair back.

"When did you get in a car accident?!" He asked.

"Today, give me my beanie back." I snatched it from his hands.

"Y'know, it's funny that even with this thing... you're still the prettiest girl I've ever seen." He shrugged.

"You don't have to lie to me, I already like you." I attempted to put the beanie back on my head, Leo reached out and took it, planting a soft kiss on my lips.

"I'm not lying." He said, throwing the beanie off the roof.

I gasped, looking at him in disbelief.

He laughed a little as I smacked his arm as hard as I possibly could, knowing how little my very own strength could do at times. He grabbed me by the waist and pulled me in close to him, kissing my lips again.

We both laid back, looking at one another.

"I wan...I wan...ted to see your pretty face," he stumbled over his words as he was clearly starting to feel his high on a larger scale.

My eyes fell shut as I felt my high growing stronger as well, the dreadful taste of the blue devil dripping from the back of my nostril and down my throat was powerful.

"I wan...I... I wanna be your boyfriend." He said.

The wide smile on my face couldn't be supressed, "okay."

The breeze brushed against our faces as we fell into the depths of each other's eyes, almost able to read each other's minds. We spoke no more words, the city served as perfect background music to the dancing of our souls. Leo's fingertips rested at the button of my jeans. Our lips met again, and soon after I was getting fingered on a roof top above New York City, and under the universe.

My nerves caused me to only feel comfortable looking at the stars. Leo looked right at me, watching the many faces he'd put upon me with the simple movement of his fingers. As I finally let myself melt into the roof underneath me in pleasure, I suddenly heard Swifty's voice in the back of my mind, 'That kid ever touch you, Jess?'

My eyes danced around from star to star as I felt his fingers pushing through me, in and out smoothly as my arousal beared lubrication. 'Good. He wouldn't know how.' I looked over at Leo, my stomach turning as my eyes played tricks on me out of the anxiety Swifty bestowed upon me.

"Leo can we stop." I demanded more than asked.

"What's wrong?" He asked gently, his finger still in motion.

"I just... it's not you or us I just..." a soft sigh escaped my lips before I grabbed his arm, causing him to stop.

"I... think we should take things slow." I smiled.

He looked more frustrated than understanding, and when he sat up I could see why from the bulging at his jeans. I sat up also, zipping and buttoning my jeans back up.

"Are you like... a lesbian or something?" He asked.

"No," I said quickly, wondering if the time I had a crush on a girl in middle school made me so, but quickly kicking the thought.

"Then..." he waited for an answer.

"Look... I'll tell you one day. Just ... not now." I looked down at my thumbs as I fiddled with them.

"Alright... well... I really like you, so I'll wait." He studied me carefully, feeling the switch in tone between us.

"Maybe... I should go." I said.

"I thought you had nowhere to go?" He asked.

"I'm just gonna sneak back in the house and go to bed... I'm sure my parents are asleep by now." I lied. I wasn't sure what the state of home could possibly look like right now, with Swifty drunk, what had happened earlier, and my mom being missing for days.

"It's late, and you're loaded, can I at least walk you home?" He asked.

I thought for a moment, "what if my dad catches us?"

"So? He ain't gonna do shit anyways." Leo laughed.

"To you." I mumbled.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Leo asked, "does he hurt you?"

"No... no." I shook my head quickly, "let's just go then." I said, standing up.

He took a deeper look at me, watching me avoid him. I knew, that he knew, I wasn't being honest.