𝔽𝔼𝔼𝕃𝕀ℕ𝔾~

11~

Kennedy Lanae Sorri
Los Angeles, California📍
20 years old
_____________________

I woke up to Paris sleeping next to me, neither of us having clothes on

I got up going to take a shower

After I got out I checked on Khylyn to see if she was sleep and she was

I went into the living room to tidy up seeing Paris's phone on the couch

Kamari kept calling his phone so I decided to see what all that was about

I picked up his phone and unlocked it

His code is his grandmother's birthday, the same code since high school

I then looked at Kamari's message

When I clicked the name my heart dropped

Paris got Kamari pregnant.

And I just slept with him

I felt so stupid because I did it again

I let him back in.

I worked so hard to build that wall up from him and it all just came crashing down because I believed everything he said to me last night. I was stupid.

I thought he meant it, I thought he would change.

He has a whole kid on the way, and it being by Kamari, a girl who hates my soul and has wanted a baby by him since forever.

I felt nothing.

"Ke" Paris said coming out the hallway

"What's wrong baby?" He asked seeing me crying

"I hate myself." I said

"Why would you say that?" He asked concerned

"I hate that I really believed you when you said you only wanted me, when you said it was always me, when you said you would change!" I yelled at him crying

"Kennedy what's wrong?" He said coming closer to me

"Don't touch me" I said throwing the phone at him

He caught it and looked at the messages

"You don't actually believe ts?" He asked

"It's not mine" he said and I laughed

"Don't do that" I said

"Please Paris you gotta go, you can't be here" I said walking away and before I could he grabbed my arm

"Nah Ke don't do this shii, I meant what I said last night baby" he said bringing me closer to him looking down at me

"Paris Kamari is pregnant, you love me so much that you go get a girl that hates me and tried to get ur daughter taken from you pregnant?" I asked crying

"If that's your love ion want it" I said wiping my tears

"C'mon Kennedy don't do this" he sighed

"No because it really was an in the moment thing, you said all that shit to me just to have sex? Is that all I am to you?" I cried

"You have never once told me that shit ever! Until last night! You don't want me Paris, you want my body!" I cried pushing him

"I loved you! And I still do! And I really hate myself for saying it but I do and all the shit you've put me through never made me love you any less, everything you've done I tolerated because I thought you loved me too, I thought we were in love!" I said with tears rushing down

"Man chillout you doing alot bro, we not even toget-" he said then I cut him off

"No, no you don't get to do that. You have always downplayed my feelings, when we were young and now! You've never cared about how I felt because you've never cared about me!" I said pushing him again

"I hate you! I really do Paris! But I love you too! And that's exactly why I hate myself. I've been waiting. Waiting for you to change, and you never do!" I yelled

"It's exhausting, it really is. I don't wanna do this with you anymore, we've been doing this since I was 14! I can't do it anymore Paris!" I cried falling to the floor

I was feeling every emotion, but mostly anger for putting up with him since I was a kid

I put my head in my hands

Trying to calm down but I just couldn't, I was hyperventilating, my hands were hot.

I felt like I was dying, like I was on fire.

And then everything went black.

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This was definitely short for a reason.

Cliffhanger?

Thoughts?

Maybe I'll wait a month until I update again on purpose🤷🏾‍♀️