I have no idea what to call this lol (Touhou x male reader)

Prologue: Jesus Punishes you

"HOLY SHIT SHE SAID YES!" I shouted at the top of my lungs as people looked at me weirdly, but it didn't matter, my crush said yes and we are going on a date tomorrow!

I Stop as I see everyone look at me weirdly but then I saw him the man himself.

"Jesus?"

"Oh my boy congrats" Jesus says, Jesus, himself is in front of me

"Holy shit Jesus is that you" I say

"Wow, calm down my boy you shouldn't use that type of language!" Jesus responds with a surprised voice

"Sorry Jesus, I Cant believe it's you!" I say with an apologetic tone

"I have one question for you my boy" Jesus says

"What is it?"I respond with curiosity

"Have you gone to church"...Oh no

"Well um..." I say nervously

"It's ok if you haven't my boy you could change that right now!" Jesus says in a forgiving voice

"I'm sorry Jesus for not going, but don't worry I'm going to go this Sunday!" I say

"But I have another question..." Jesus says in a serious voice

"What's is it Jesus?"

"Have you masturbated?"...FUCK

"..."

"Yeah that's what I thought, I'm sending you to Detroit" Jesus says

"NO NOT DETROIT NOT DETROIT!"

"Fine...Ohio then" Jesus says in an annoyed voice

"THATS WORSE THAN DETROIT" I say desperately

"FINE you're GOING THE NETHERWORLD" Jesus says

"Oh well"

"I'm going to warn you it's far worse than Detroit or Ohio" Jesus says in a concerned

"Nah if it's going to be 100% better"

"Welp bye then" Jesus says as he says as he proceeds to knock me down

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"And that's how I got here"

"I see, I'm going to kill you anyways human" The white-haired girl with a flying Marshmellow thing says as she proceeds to slash me with a sword...I should have listened to Jesus.

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A/n: "Welp here's the prologue, Took me like 30 minutes to make, I'm going to make the first chapter tomorrow or the next day after tomorrow so stay tuned!"

Word count 310