Dreaming - MA

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Her moans were like music to my ears. They let me know that I was in control and that she was enjoying my moves. It was probably the fourth time she came tonight as I could feel her walls tighten around my fingers and the bodily liquid fill my mouth.

I removed my fingers, licked her clean and left a few tender kisses on her body before making our lips connect. It was clear that she was exhausted. She was still rapidly breathing and coming down from her high. Her eyes were droopy and any moment now she was about to fall asleep.

Before she could leave for the wonders of her dreamland, I grabbed my shirt that I had thrown off before. I helped her get it on, making sure that she was warm and felt safe.

My arms traveled around her small body and I pressed my face against those beautiful blonde waves. Lavender. My heart skips a beat every time I can smell lavender. It makes me think of her and moments like this one; us cuddling together in bed after a romantic evening with wine, pizza and movies and ending it with hot steamy sex.

She pressed her body against mine, squishing my boobs just a bit. It only made my hands tighten around her, making sure that no one could ever hurt this goddess, this miracle that life had connected me with. I would live through all the trauma in my life once, twice, fuck it a million times over again if that meant it would end with her being mine.

Stuck in my thoughts, I was brought back to life as I heard her soft snores fill the room. I smiled. This was the closure I have always needed. Having this moment last for forever is my only wish as of now.

Knowing that she was safe in my arms, I slowly started getting sleeper. My eyes were getting harder and harder to keep open as the seconds passed. It was alright. She is alright, I am alright.

"Dr. Montgomery-Shepherd?"

There isn't a single thing in this universe that's better than being next to the love of your life. Only her, for now and ever. It all felt like a dream. What have I done to deserve having her?

"Dr. Montgomery-Shepherd? Excuse me?"

It all feels too good to be true. Yet it is, right? I have everything I've ever wanted and my life feels complete.

"DOCTOR, YOUR PATIENT IS CRASHING!"

And there it was. Too good to be true. My eyes opened as I saw a nurse staring into my eyes, trying to wake me as a crash cart was being rolled into a room next to me. A dream, a lie.

I stood up and ran inside, shocking the patient twice before their heartbeat stabilized. My head, gosh.

"Addie, hey! I just finished my shift. Wanna go grab drinks at Joe's?"

Derek fucking Christopher fucking Shepherd. Why did I chase after him, why did I come here, why. I'm not Addison Adriella Montgomery Forbes-Grey. Nope no. Sadly, due to some evil curse I'm a Shepherd. A fucking Shepherd. I'm married to a fucking Shepherd. My in-laws are all Shepherds and my title is Doctor Shepherd.

Grey, the name I want. The name that would make me the happiest human alive. But something I could never have. How long will I be unhappy in this mess of a marriage that all of this is? Will I get to live my own life and explore everything about myself and the world? When is it my turn to be happy?

I live in a trailer, have a husband who has the hots for some intern, yet I couldn't possibly blame him. Her giggles, the way she was during surgery, the way she bit her lip when she was in the zone, how she made people feel so loved. She could either be the most selfish or selfless person. Every flaw that she had was also a strength. Some people make you feel like that, like you are living in a French poetry book.

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