Fifty Shades of Chad

the story

Chad. Chad. Chad. CHAD. CHAD. The crowd roared around chat. He looked down and around him and smiled. It was a good day to be Chad.
Although the light. It was bright. He didn't like that. He squinted, but something wasn't right.
….
Chad! Chad! Chad blinked his eyes open to see that his alarm was buzzing. He groaned and turned to slam the alarm shut.
He smiled as he got up. He was so proud of himself for his alarm. No one else could have ever been so smart (and handsome might he add) to have thought to have a crowd screaming your name as an alarm clock.
Although somehow, he wasn't the king. It made no sense! Who could be better at being a King than Chad?
He was Chad. The Chad. The Chad that everyone wanted. The Chadster.
The world could only be better if it had more Chad. In all honesty, it was a pity that the world only had one Chad. If only there was more of him, like some sort of gigachad.
He sighed. That would have to wait for another day. His fellow peers were all just waiting for him to go out and greet his fellow peers.
…
When Chad came back from his classes, he was in a very bad mood. He could not believe his day. First he had to miss the ball to fix the love of his life's flat tire. Then, when he got there she was already on her way, with a tire that was fixed by a talking dog.
By the time he got back to school to go the ball, it was almost over. And instead of people talking about his chadsome cape they were going on and on about Ben.
He could not believe his luck. Yes, it seemed like everything in his life was perfect. He was gorgeous. Smart. Popular. Athletic. Chad could go on and on about how amazing he was. Despite all this, he never seemed to be able to get his way. He was allways being upstaged by Ben.
Just take what happened today. Instead of everyone marveling at him and his cape, everyone at the ball was going on and on about how Ben brought a pirate to the dance. So what if Ben was dating Harry. Chad would be a much better match for Harry anyway. No one could be better than Chad.
What did Harry see in Ben anyway? So what if Ben had a cape. Chad was sure his cape was bigger.
It seemed  as if no one else truly saw how amazing Chad was. If only everyone could be just like him. Chad turned over to his mini headless Chad. Why can't you be real? Chad thought to himself. Chad wished he had another person who could truly see how amazing Chad was. It seemed that one else truly saw how important Chad was.
Which made sense, of course. Chad's intellect was on another level. He was so much better than other people. Of course no one could really appreciate Chad! He was Chad. Chad served Chad and no one else.
Chad paused. That was it! Chad served Chad and no one else. All he needed was another Chad! Chad did not need Harry. Chad did not need Audrey. He did not need others validation. As long, as he Chad, the chaddiest Chad of them all knew what he was worth, that was enough.
How would he get another Chad though? That part would be hard. He looked over at his 3d printed headless. Maybe Chad could just print another Chad. Not a little one this time. A real one! A big one!
Didn't his mom always say that the world would be better with more of him? Or something like that.
He could do his part to help the world! To help his school! He could show everyone what a true (Chad puffed up his chest at the thought) man looked like. He could not wait to get started.
Chad was almost at the door to his room when he stopped himself. How could he, Chad even be sure if his plan would work? Chad smacked himself. What a stupid thing to think. Of course the plan would work. How could do it. He was Chad. He was never wrong. It would work just because, it was he, Chad, came up with the idea.
Chad walked down the hall to the 3d printer. Headless Chad was held tightly in his hand. Chad slowly peeked his head into Carloses room. No one was inside.
And if anyone came in he could easily fend them off with some of his chadsome moves.
He walked towards the 3d printer and pressed a few buttons. A moment later the printer started up. Chad sat down and started working on his autobiography while he waited.
A while later Chad heard a ding. He looked in and saw that the hat was ready. Chad smiled and took it out and replaced it with headless Chad.
He closed the printer and pressed a few more buttons. The job would be a bit harder than printing a hat, but he was still sure it would work. A warning came up on the glass but Chad ignored it. He was Chad. It was a printer. It was obvious who knew better.
He then sat back down and waited some more. This time he watched as headless Chad got bigger and bigger. Then he heard a ding. Chad opened the door carefully and helped headless Chad walk out of the printer. Chad smiled, so his idea would work!
He never should have doubted himself. He was Chad, King of ideas and execution. Chad picked up the hat and put it on headless Chad's head. There. Perfect.
"How are you doing there, buddy?" Chad asked, putting out his hand.
Headless Chad just ignored him. Headless Chad turned around and promptly walked into a wall.
"Come back!" Chad yelled after headless Chad. Eventually Chad managed to wrestle headless Chad to the ground. Chad tied headless Chad to a chair and got to work on Clone Chad.
It took even less time for Chad to get the printer up and running this time. Once the printer was up and running Chad leaned back and closed his eyes. Soon he felt himself falling asleep.
….
Chad slowly opened his eyes. The world around him seemed a bit fuzzy. He was a bit confused. What was that light around him?
Slowly his mind began to clear. He was special. He was unique. He was chadsome. He was Chad.
Chad looked around and saw a chadly man in front of him.
"I am Chad." The other chadly man walked up to him. The man helped him walk out of the printer.
He was so awesome.
"Hi Chad, I am Chad. I printed you over there and that is headless Chad, over there." That makes sense Chad thought, if someone else was as perfect as that man he must be Chad.
"You are chadsome."
"So are you." Chad looked at Chad. He was gorgeous. He leaned forward and kissed Chad.
Chad froze. Then Chad leaned in.
This was right. Chad turned over to look at his parent, the printer, then his brother and then over at Chad.
This was right. This was perfect. This was chadsome.
Nothing could be more right than Chad and Chad.