𝐒𝐨 𝐆𝐨𝐨𝐝 | 𝐀𝐦𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐚 𝐒𝐡𝐞𝐩𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐝

008 | First Time Out The Hospital

The morning after watching Amelia in the OR and Amelia and I becoming an item I woke up with a wide smile on my face and I also smiled when I saw Amelia beside me. I was happy and for the first time in a while I believed I could fight this, I could get into recovery. I turned my head slightly and watched Amelia sleep, she looked so uncomfortable but she also looked peaceful. I ran a hand through my hair and my breathing hitched in my throat as a clump of hair came out along with my hand. I should be used to it with my hair falling out both of my previous times but still tears welled up in my eyes,

"Stop being stupid" I thought to myself as the tears forced their way out of my eyes as I tried to hold them back. I pulled my knees into my chest quietly and cried softly, I looked up as my door opened and I saw my older sister stood in the doorway.

"Anna' are you okay" Meredith asked and I put my finger to my lip to indicate Amelia was still asleep.

"What's happened Anna' your crying" Meredith asked sitting on the edge of the bed quietly.

"My hair has started to fall out, I know... I know I should be used to it. My hairs feel out the last two times too but.." I paused looking towards Amelia, we were going to tell Meredith and Derek about us today together but I was scared to loose my hair because I don't want that to scare Amelia off.

"But i don't want to scare Amelia off." I admitted, I was only hinting to the fact me and Amelia were together.

"She's seen you be sick. She's helped you get changed and she is here like every minute of her free time, if anything would have scared her off it would surely have been that" Meredith tried to comfort me.

"I don't know why but I wasn't exactly prepared to loose my hair. I didn't think it would happen so soon. I mean I know Barbara has me on a stronger dose of Chemo so of course it would come quicker than before but I wasn't ready." I said letting out a little sob. Biting my lip not wanting to wake Amelia up but it was too late.

"Is everything okay?" Amelia asked sounding like she was still half asleep, of course she was she'd only just woke up. I buried my head into Meredith's shoulder as I tried to muffle my sobs.

"Anna' what's wrong" Amelia asked sounding worried. I sat myself up and wiped my eyes gently. As I was wiping my eyes Derek walked into the room, he looked conserned

"My... My hair has started falling out" I said not looking up.

"I wasn't prepared for my hair to start falling out so soon." I said quietly taking a deep breath. Instead of saying anything Amelia stood up and sat on the edge of the bed wrapping her arms around me. I saw the look Derek was giving the pair of us and I forced a smile.

"Well since your both here we want you two to know that we're giving the whole relationship stuff ago, we spoke about it yesterday and we both wanted to give it a shot. But for now can we keep it between the four of us? I don't want people to think I'm only with Amelia because she's just supporting me because I'm not, Amelia has made me feel so incredible and even before I knew who she was I felt different, like she was the one I was meant to meet" I explained to Derek and Meredith while I rested my head on Amelia's shoulder. Meredith already knew seeing as I told her before Amelia woke up but I felt like the two of them deserved an explanation.

"You don't need to explain anything to us. You two being happy is the only important thing right now" Meredith said and I smiled. She was right and I hoped I could make Amelia happy even while being stuck in hospital.

"Thank you Mer' and Derek I know your worried that I'd break your sisters heart especially if I can't fight this but I am going to fight it hard, I'll even have surgery to remove the tumour if the chemotherapy doesn't work. I'm going to do everything in my power to fight this, just the thought of hurting Amelia is killing me, the thought that if I relapse it could be bad if Amelia relapse too. I know either of us could relapse and I also know that two addicts shouldn't be in a relationship but I promice I will try and help Amelia out if she ever relapses. And  I'll talk to someone if I need to" I practically rambled not thinking of what I say makes sense or not.