Boys of West Denton ✓

chapter one

it is contagious, my fear and your pain - saint sister, "corpses"

Harris

It wasn't that I'd never noticed Sebastian Krause before. It's hard not to—he's more like a bird than a boy, with gangly, delicate limbs and a face that pinches in a little too sharply. He's a pale thing too, covered in freckles and moles, contrasted with the darkest, blackest hair you've ever seen. It's all messy curls, jutting about his head every which way, giving him this strange mad scientist look that I'd stare at from the back of classrooms. Always looking, never touching.

But the first time I saw Seb—really, truly saw him—it wasn't because of crazy hair or paperweight limbs or a constellation of freckles. It was because he thought he could fly.

It's the first real weekend of the summer, a warm Saturday in West Denton, Minnesota, but not so warm that the water of Lake Franz isn't bound to be freezing to the touch. Most of us mill around the water's edges, passing around whatever alcohol we'd each brought for tonight. Denton is a small town, full of faces I've known my entire life. We're a small graduating class, too—just a little over a hundred or so students. So being here, right after tossing our caps up and getting rid of out of town relatives, feels sacred somehow. This. This is my last summer with these people. And then it's off to ... who even knows what.

Lake Franz isn't too far from the Wetspring Quarry; the quarry's sides are massive hills, secluding the supposedly toxic waters from the rest of the surrounding wildlife. The side closest to the lake juts out onto a stable enough overhang, and that's where I see him standing—his hands raising slowly in an arc above his head, reaching for each other while he tilts his head back, exalting in the balmy twilight air.

Next to me, Liam passes me his already lit cigarette. I hate the menthol kinds he smokes, their slightly minty taste and the consequential aftertaste, but I'm not going to say no to his offering. I inhale the minty smoke, feeling the familiar burn in my chest and the immediate light-headed buzz in my skull. The chill calm that sweeps through my body. I've tried quitting smoking a few times, just like I've tried quitting Liam. I keep going back to both.

"Is that Sebastian Krause?" Liam asks, as though it could be anyone else. Above us, Sebastian's flat chest rises and falls slowly but surely, his lungs expanding inside his ribcage more than I would have thought possible for his slender frame.

I take another puff, then pass the cigarette back, wishing I had my own, and that mine wasn't menthol. "I do believe it is."

"You think he's gonna jump?"

"Well if he does, let's hope he doesn't die. I'm too broke for therapy."

In front of us, a girl with bright blue-dyed highlights whirls around and glares at us. "Shut up, Harris," she snaps at me.

Damn. I didn't see her standing there. I spent all of high school being ignored by Saanvi thanks to her and Liam's constant feuding, but I don't like fucking with people. I'm not Liam. "Sorry, Saanvi. I'm sure your pet giraffe will be fine."

"Maybe he's finally had enough of you," Liam offers, smirking. "If I had to talk to you regularly, God knows I'd have jumped off a cliff a long fucking time ago."

"Oh, go fuck yourself," Saanvi says, and turns back around to watch her best friend as he lingers on the cliff's edge. For a second, I legitimately believe that she's unbothered, until I notice her hands resting on her waist, Wonder Woman posing through her worry. That's a perk of a small town, I think—you know people better than either of you think you do. And Saanvi Gaddam is on edge.