the author's vent book

3

this was during 6th grade.

really disappointed that i joined the wrong group of friends that time.

we were 2 best friends. in came another girl, and another, and another. if i could remember, we were six or seven.

during our 3rd or 4th qtr. they started to become distant to me, except for another rich girl. she was really kind and giving.

one girl from the group is like a popular kid and whenever i could speak, she would cut me off and catch the others' attention with a "cool" topic of hers.

it saddened me.

one time when i was absent for the entire morning and came to school at lunch. they were looking at me with a surprised face and said , "i thought you wouldn't come to school" "oh? you're here?"

it was kinda telling me that they don't like me around them. i didn't mind it and thought about it as a joke and gave an excuse letter to her and she read it, without my permission and this is what she said. "you got dysmenorrhoea? doesn't seem like an excuse."

(dysmenorrhoea — cramping or throbbing pains in the lower abdomen during menstruation)

i really thought to myself like, 'are you serious?' and again, i just smiled and said that i was going to go back to my seat.

another one was when i was absent for a whole day.

i was suspicious about the group growing distant from me so i asked the kind, rich girl who i'll call, anna, so i asked anna if she heard the group talk anything about me. which she did but only a little.

"when you were absent yesterday, i heard them say, "y'know, *my name* is so annoying like, i can't believe we even have her in our group"

it was heartbreaking to hear that, considering that i call them, "my friends"

i constantly have trust issues when making new friends. who knows if they are a genuine real friend or a snake.

i am really disappointed in myself during that year. i really wished i could go back in time and warn myself about it. but, i guess we have to experience at least something.