Shortly after my mom and sister leave, I have one last crying session on my new, small bed.
Okay, fine. I may have teared up a bit while washing off the day's perspirations and recollections in the shower too. But I promised myself that this was the last time I was going to cry. For tonight.
After taking a burning hot shower on one of the hottest days of the month, I snuggle into my pajamas with my iPad. I look at the time hoping it's time to sleep but it's only 7:28 pm. I want this day to end already. Not because tomorrow's going to change everything, but because I at least want to think so.
With no energy to eat what my mom filled up my refrigerator with, a rare occurrence I might say, I start watching Bollywood music videos on YouTube to feel at home. I almost laugh at myself for being a crazy Bollywood maniac ever since I came to the US. When I was in India, all I ever listened to was anything Justin Bieber or The Chainsmokers released. I used to look down on Bollywood music and consider my music taste consisting of every latest pop song on my playlist exquisite.
After coming to the US, I realized just how stupid I was to look down on my, frankly, badass culture. Our food, music, movies, festivals, clothes, and everything that I tried to whitewash to seem edgy back then came back to bite me in the butt when I started missing those same things. I still listen to "Western" music but now my playlists are heavily dominated by Bollywood music and I'm happy to catch up on what I missed through my "too cool for school" phase in high school.
A YouTube ad breaks my social commentary and chain of thoughts on the importance of the cultures of the homeland. Why must a 5-minute song have 2 ads in it?
Capitalism. My inner voice whispers.
Not tonight. I have already exhausted my energy on goodbyes and cultural values. Capitalism might just knock me out today.
2 minutes into the video, I start blanking out. Although I had put up some energetic songs to lift up my mood, I looked at myself sprawled over my bed with not an ounce of energy. What am I doing? What will I do tomorrow? Where will I go? Classes don't start until 5 days later, what the heck am I supposed to do here?
Explore the campus. Make new friends. Check out the building's gym. Get a headstart on assignments. My ever-present conscious suggests.
"Make new friends"? Plural?
Who does she think I am? I have made 1 friend in my 2 years in the United States, and that too just a month ago. I met Lilly at the mandatory orientation in August where they make you walk around the campus under the scorching Southern California sun and pay $100 for it. We both bonded over our shared dislike of walking and the unjust university financial structure that exploits struggling students in the name of "mandatory" activities.
My iPhone's notification breaks me out of my thoughts and I see it's just the person I was thinking of.
Lilly: Did you settle in the new room yet?
Me: Yeah, I'm in the new room but idk about settling
Lilly: Aw, it's only your first day living by yourself. it's oki. we're meeting in 2 days anyway so it'll be fun!
Me: Yep, thanks. see u soon!! gn.
I completely forgot about the new students' welcome held at the gymnasium. Well. At least I'll be busy for 2 out of the 24 hours of my day.
With thoughts of my family back home and someone else in Australia, I go to sleep. At least I try to.
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YOU ARE READING
The Misadventures of Naina Dholakia
General FictionHaving read about the fun, diverse, and challenging college life in the United States, Naina is keen to start finally start her university life after spending two years of her life in an online college in this dream country of hers. New beginnings b...
