Some of us have a happy ending, some of us have a not so happy ending, but some of us the ending we get, will be a new start to beginning our own story.
Revised version.
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CHAPTER TWO
The Family
"Hindi rin naman kita mamahalin at papakasalan kung hindi lang dahil sa bata na 'yan!" napapikit ako nang marinig ko ang sinabi ni Dad.
It hurts, my whole existence is just a mistake for them.
Tears escaped in my eyes
Ba't kasalanan ko pang nag sasama sila dahil lamang sa ipinanganak ako?
Hindi ko naman hiniling na buuin ako, at iluwal ako, hindi ba?
I composed myself, and tumayo ako sa kama, at hinawakan ang doorknob ng pintuan ng aking kwarto, bumuntong hininga muna ako bago ko ito pinihit. Pag kababa ko sa hagdan, bumungad sa akin ang mga mukha ng magulang ko na tila nagulat nang makita ako.
"Mom, Dad" bati ko sa kanilang dalawa, lumapit sa akin si Mom.
"N-Nand'yan ka na pala, Ellyn" sabi nito sa akin, ngumiti lamang ako ay nag mano na lamang sa kanila, kumilos ako na parang wala lang ang narinig kanina.
That's the first time I heard that.
"Congrats, Ellyn balita ko highest honor ka" nakangiting ni Dad, napatawa nalang ako sa aking isipan dahilan na parang kanina lang ay halos isumpa na nila ang existence ko dahil sa mga sinabi nito.
"Let's eat dinner, nand'yan na yung inorder kong pag kain" pag aaya ni Mom
What a great family I have.
Pumunta kaming tatlo sa Dining table, at nakita ko na napakaraming pagkaing nakahain.
We maybe rich in terms of food, money or anything, but my family can't provide a love and care for each other.
Payapa at tahimik kaming kumakain nang biglang nagsalita si Dad.
"Ellyn, now you will be a college student. Ano kukunin mong course?" tanong nito, napatigil ako sa pagkain.
Honestly, I don't know what I want
I don't know what path I will take, I always think about my future yet I am still undecided. A lot of things going on in my mind, when someone talks about my future.
I can't see my future, it's too dark to vision it.
I envy those people who already decide what they want in life.
"Ellyn?" nabalik ako sa reyalidad ng marinig ko ulit ang aking pangalan, at napatingin ako sa kanilang hinihintay ang aking sagot
"I planning to take BSCE" I told them
"Don't take BSCE" Dad said
"Why? Pati ba naman yung kukunin ko kontrolado niyo?" I said with no hesitation, they look shocked because I talked back to them
"Yes, and we are the one who will pay the tuition fee and all necessities. Kaya kami pa rin ang mag dedecide para sa'yo" Dad said, tumingin ako kay Mom na hindi makapaniwala sa sinasabi ni Dad.
"Rainier! It's your daughter's decisions not yours!" saad naman ni Mom
"And I am the father that provides everything, it's your choice to take BSIT or you are free to leave this house" Dad said, napatayo ako sa galit
Damn this family
"Nawalan ako ng gana, may I excuse" saad ko sa mga ito at tuluyang umalis doon. Lumabas ako ng bahay na hindi alam kung saan mag tutungo.
Napadpad ako sa isang convenience store, pumasok ako sa loob and kumuha ng snacks, and when I was about to pay I realized that my money is not enough.
"Uhmm, pwede po ba ibalik ito kulang po kasi pera ko" nag aalinlangan kong saad dito at ngumiti na lamang ako dito.
Embarrassing todo this
"Charge it to me" narinig ko ang boses ng lalake na nasa likod ko lamang, napatingin ako sa kan'ya and I saw who is it.
Dominic
"Total of 250 po sir" sabi ng cashier, and Dominic gave 500 peso bill to that cashier.
"I received 500, your change is 250 thank you po" after the cashier gave the change to the Dominic, gave me the plastic that contains my snacks. I am a bit embarrassed, because he only buy for one cup of coffee but he pays for 1 plastic of snacks of mine.
"Dominic" I called him before he leaves.
"Thank you for paying, I will pay you" nakangiting saad ko sa kan'ya, he just standing there and staring at me with his blank face
"No need, go home it's late" sabi nito at lumabas na rin kaagad. Sandaling napatitig ako sa hawak kong plastic bag.
I didn't expect I will see him here, and he even pays my snacks.
Nag lakad ulit ako pauwi, I didn't bring my phone so I don't have a contacts to my driver to pick me up. I walked and walked I stopped in a park because I could feel my tiredness.
Maliwanag ang park gawa ng mga ilaw na nasa palagid. I could feel the coldness of the night, napag pasyahan kong umupo sa isang bench na kaharap ang city lights.
Our subdivision were far from the city.
Quiet but peaceful.
"What are you doing here? It's late" napatingin ako sa nag salita, nakita ko si Dominic na nakatayo habang nakasandal ang likod nito sa isang puno while drinking the cup of coffee that he bought earlier.
"I'm just taking a rest for a while" ngiting saad ko dito, at kumuha ng isang snacks at binuksan ito.
"How about you? What are you doing here?" tanong ko dito, hindi ako umaasang sasagot siya pabalik sa akin.
"It's quiet and peaceful, El" I was surprise when he answered back and he even call me by my nickname.
"H-How did you know my nickname?" I asked him, he just smiled at me and walked away.
I was there sitting peacefully, I still wonder how he knows my nickname. My old nickname, I used it in my childhood days but now It's forgotten.
I have so many traumas back then, and that nickname will bring back what I've forgot for a long time.
Memories that I used to buried,
Memories that I don't want to remember anymore.
Is he part of some of my childhood? Or is he part of my traumas before?
Napahawak ako sa ulo ko nang maramdaman ko ang pagsakit nito.
Damn those memories.
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