No other shade of BLUE but you | J Cody

So inviting, I almost jump in

long time, no see. 

I know, but maybe someone cares about it.

let me know what you think about it!

Gleaming, twinkling
Eyes like sinking ships on waters
So inviting, I almost jump in

Rays of sunlight tickled me awake. I would like to say that, but a stabbing headache made me wake up rudely, the unfamiliar foreign body heat not really helping. Strangely, even though I only had distorted memories of yesterday, they were not unpleasant. The unfamiliar strong arms didn't scare me as much as one would actually suspect. I knew it was Josh, but I didn't know why. For a moment I was in agreement, capitulating, submitting to my fate. But Josh stirred a little, humming in his slightly raspy morning voice, and I felt dizzy for a moment but now think straight. I'd never been in a bed with any man before and really, it wasn't supposed to be like this. Actually, I should have been able to remember everything else, actually he still should habe earned my trust. I'm not the kind of girl who found herself in these situations. I'm not the kind of girl who doesn't stick to rule and wakes up the next morning in a strange bed with someone unimportant. I'm not that kind of girl, even though I don't condemn that kind of girls at all. Even though I feel silly to call it all that and also a bit bad. We cuddled, actually Josh must have taken me in his arms in the middle of the night and pulled me to him. We were lying so close to each other that the blush of shame came to my face when I realised what was lightly pecking my lower back. Josh turned to the side when he realised I was moving. I looked at him in shock and he distanced himself from me a little more.

"Nothing happened!" he said immediately, placatingly. "We were in Daren's bar yesterday with Isa's people. Someone drugged you and you didn't want to sleep alone. I tried, you kept getting angry and wouldn't let go of me when I wanted to lie down on the couch" I nodded slightly.
"Are you okay?" he asked me after yawning and rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. I looked down at myself and noticed his clothes on my body. "Your clothes were wet. You just jumped in the pool," he explained with a smirk, though I didn't ask. Slowly, the memory of yesterday came back. That definitely explained the wild curls in my hair that always appeared when they got wet and and I don't blow dry them afterwards. He grinned mischievously at me as he could almost read my concern from my face. "I wasn't looking when I changed you." Surprisingly, he didn't sound a bit mocking. He stood up while I looked after him a little dreamily.
"I'm going to take a quick shower. Stay in my room, okay?" He disappeared with that strange request that sounded a little too serious, like almost everything out of his mouth. While he was gone, I curiously patted the hallway and looked around. I peeked into the bathroom for a moment and forced myself to look away. I crept on and in the daytime this property doesn't seem so intimidating, in fact it seems homely. I heard kitchen utensils clattering on each other and moved in that direction, noticing an older woman at the cooker who seemed to want to prepare something. I watched her for a brief moment, thinking of Josh's strange request and feeling guilty. I looked back."Looking for something, sweetie?" a voice suddenly asked me. Fuck, Josh's grandma spotted me. I whirled around uncomfortably again. "N-no!", I almost stuttered. "Josh, just took a shower. I didn't know -" I began uncertainly. "Josh? Interesting," she murmured to herself with hidden disgust if I am not mistaken. "Well, you can have breakfast with me in the meantime," she offered sweetly, digging out a pan to put on a hotplate. "I hope you like pancakes". "Yes, I'd love to!", I rejoiced and ran towards her. "I'm starving. I'm Amy by the way" "I know" she replied merely impassive. I looked at her confused. "J has already told me a lot about you" she revealed smiling at me. I looked at her confused, but she didn't say another word about it. "You can call me Smurf. Everyone does."I nodded. I thought Josh's grandma was really nice. She asked me how college was going, what the professors were like and other classes.

"And what does your father do for a living?" she asked me in passing as she put the pancakes on my plate. "He's a security officer at a bank". "Oh, that sounds exciting" she commented. I didn't know why, but I remembered it when Josh asked me the same thing. "And your mother?" she then wanted to know. "Um," I mumbled uncomfortably. "She died a few years ago" "Och I'm sorry to hear that" she offers her condolences, which comes across as pretty mendacious from pretty much everyone to me. What I liked most was Josh's reaction, because he probably knew exactly that reactions wouldn't help. "You must have a close relationship with your dad, aren't you?"I didn't really know why, but that kind of question made me prick up my ears a little. I tried to push it away and convince myself that I was exaggerating as usual, but today I wished I had listened to that feeling. "Maybe," I replied evasively, shovelling in my food. I shrugged my shoulders on the side. The shower water stopped abruptly and even if I shouldn't feel that way, I still felt bad for not listening to Josh. This did not go unnoticed by his grandma and she probably waited until he arrived. A little later, footsteps were heard in the hallway. "Amy?" he asked, confused. I was about to start to say something, but his grandma intervened. "She's here, baby!" she called into the hallway. Baby? I looked at her suspiciously. Josh plodded in our direction still with damp hair and only one pair of trousers on and I had to collect myself for a moment. He was already looking at me not really pleased. I swallowed. He came to me, his head to the ground but still noticeably angry for me. "You didn't tell me how beautiful your girlfriend is, J," she said to her grandson with a grin. Embarrassed by the term alone, I looked down. "Yes, she is," he muttered with suppressed anger and then looked briefly at me. I didn't know what was wrong with him. "Do you want also something to eat, J?""No, thanks! Not hungry.""Are you living in a dorm or still with your dad, sweetie?" she then wanted to know. "Actually with my friend Karen together, but we've just had some water damage. That's why I'm at home again. My dad is with his new girlfriend a lot at the moment or working, I hardly see him'" She became particularly attentive for some reason at the last sentence and looked strangely at her grandson. "So," she then said with interest and I looked confusedly at Josh who was looking somewhat defiantly at his grandma. His jaw clenched again. I didn't know what was going on between them or what it meant, but Josh was obviously warning her with glances to do or say something that obviously didn't suit him. By now he had leaned against the counter and his hands were pressing on the back of the chair next to mine. He was noticeably and visibly angry and I couldn't figure out why. I reached out to touch him gently on the upper arm. Josh almost flinched, but then he looked down at me and his gaze also softened a little.

"Will you take me home?" I asked him sweetly, hoping that he wasn't angry with me. That it was a family thing, a thing I didn't understand and had nothing to do with me. "Sure, go change. Your clothes are in my room they are already dry"
I looked back and forth between and his grandma still unsure and then stood up.
"Thanks, Smurf! That was tasty" I thanked her and as I was about to put my plate in the sink she stopped me.
"Don't bother, sweetie. I'll do it."
I smiled gratefully at her and slipped into Josh's room. I toyed with the idea of pressing my ear to the door, eavesdropping on the two of them after all, but decided against it. I wouldn't want him to do that to me either. I changed my clothes. After I had finished, Josh rushed in without knocking. I looked at him in shock.

"What did you don't understand by 'stay' in my room?" he immediately attacked me.
I know what I meant before. That his rough side fascinated me as much as his gentle side and that I wanted to get to know both, but even this was too much for me.
"Josh, you're completely exaggerating," I countered him. "I was just having breakfast with your grandma."
"When I ask you to do something, you do it!"
My face contorted in incomprehension.
"How are you talking to me? Do you actually listen to yourself?"
His initial confidence was starting to crumble a bit, but even though I haven't known Josh that long, I could read it from his look that he wasn't apologising or really admitting that his behaviour was completely over the top.
I grabbed the rest of my stuff and wanted to leave, but of course Josh wouldn't let me.
"I'll walk you home"
"No!", I barked at him. "You don't have to! I don't know what kind of fucked up shit just went down, but I know I don't want anything to do with it"
He groaned in annoyance and tried to hold me back, but I managed to pull away from him.

I can't dare to dream about you anymore
At dinner parties won't call you out on your contrarian shit