tw: racism (im chinese yall) ‼️‼️‼️
Hui Jie's POV:
I mentally slapped myself, hard. What was it with me nowadays? I have been acting up every second, and hated that I didn't know why. Was it because of my impulsive thoughts? What was it? My feelings? Do I have feelings for her? I grimaced, a frown etched and gouging deep into my forehead.
"What's up?" Lilith asked, catching up to me.
She was hiding a smile. I sucked my teeth.
"Nothing," I chuntered.
The battle continued raging on in my mind, tuning out whatever was going on around me. I was having doubts about myself; did I like her or not? Make up your mind, Hui Jie.
Soon enough, I resurfaced from the din in my mind and found myself standing outside the temple already. Had I been in a daze this whole time? I turned to look at Lilith, and the expression on her face answered my question immediately.
"Geez, what is up with you this morning?" she nagged.
"Nothing," I added, "sorry."
Following that, the familiar faces of two boys swam into view. They were eyeing me and whispering to each other, making it obvious that they disliked me. I rolled my eyes, my shoulders sagging in disappointment.
"With her?" one of them, whose name, if I remembered correctly, was Xander, groaned.
Lilith shot him a sharp glare before sarcastically saying, "correct, Xander. Good job."
I grinned slightly hearing the distaste in her voice when she said his name. Hah, sucks to be you, Xander.
The other guy, Eric, stepped in, "whatever, let's go."
And they both frisked off.
"What were we supposed to do again?" I whispered to Lilith.
"Explore the temple and complete the booklet they just handed out," she sighed, gesturing at the small booklet in my hand.
Since when did I have that?
"I see," I said slowly.
Grabbing and pulling on my arm as if were a toddler who could not be trusted, Lilith followed after the boys.
Stepping into the temple, I was instantly hit with the scent of lit joss sticks. I inhaled deeply; this reminds me of the times my mom would bring me to the temple. She would often pray for me to get good grades. What a shame she didn't pray for me to have good eyesight. I felt something brush the top of my head. Looking up, I spotted a bunch of bats hanging on the dome-shaped rock ceiling. I felt my skin crawl. Shuddering, I continued deeper into the temple.
There were altars everywhere, illuminating and bathing the temple in red light, and offerings were sprawled across the floor. At that moment, I saw Lilith step on a sheet of joss paper.
"Oy!" I exclaimed, pulling her back.
Lilith stared at me, startled.
"My mom said it was bad luck to step on joss paper, she said the spirits would 'follow you home', " I explained.
"And of course, the chink would have something to say," Eric snickered.
The slur rolled off his tongue as easily as an eel wriggling out of a fisherman's grip. I gaped at him, completely astonished at his audacity.
"What are you opening your mouth for, chink?" Xander jeered.
"Hey, guys, let's not," Lilith started.
"Don't tell me you're standing up for her, Lilith. Gosh, this yellow dog-eating monkey turned you soft, huh?" Xander spat.
The boys hollered with laughter as Lilith fell silent. My eyes stung, and before they could make fun of me any further, I stormed away to the washroom.
I sat on the toilet seat cover, my mind in a whirl. Tears coursed down my face, and I hurriedly wiped them away. I hated them, I hated them all. All those people who make fun of others, those racist pricks. The whirlwind of emotions cleared to reveal one: red, burning rage. I swallowed the lump in my throat and leaned back, every inch of my skin prickling, battle drums throbbing through my veins. Their words stabbed through my guts and twisted like a damn knife. And to think Lilith didn't stick up for me. Coward. They all are. Hiding behind their facade, acting all superior, as if they were the ones in charge. The flaming kernel resting deep in my gut was getting hotter and hotter by the second the more I thought about everything, and at any moment it would explode. I hadn't noticed I was biting my fingernails, and quickly withdrew my hands, revealing my nails which were bitten into ragged stubs.
After several minutes, I walked out of the bathroom stall. I examined my reflection in the mirror and adjusted a few wild strands of my hair before heading back to the crowd, all calm and composed as if nothing had happened. I hoped I had managed to mask the anger well enough, because little did anyone know, the fury had not simmered down yet.
