Promise Me (Dazai x OC)

Pairing Up

It didn't take long to adjust to being part of the Agency. Though i still had yet to meet the president, everyone else seemed to welcome me with open arms. Well, besides Kunikida. I had gathered that he was rather strict, but he means well. Dazai hadnt been around much, but i couldnt complain. Ever since the first night i spent, it seemed like he was avoiding me. He didnt even spend time in his own apartment after that.

My mind was a constant battle. Did i offend him somehow? Did he dislike me? Had i made him uncomfortable? I know it shouldnt bother me, but it does. He was the first person to treat me like a human being, and i think part of me is always going to cling to that.

"May i have your attention, please?" Kunikidas loud beckon drew everyone's eyes to him.

"As you all know, today marks three months since Kiriko joined us," He got cut off by claps and faint cheers. I smiled sheepishly at their encouragement, looking down to my desk that was littered with papers. He cleared his throat to silence everyone before continuing.

"That being said, a meeting will be held in regards to her partnership. I would like you all to be there. It starts at three," he nodded to conclude his statement, and the place quickly settled back into its casual atmosphere.

"Are you excited?" I smiled as i heard my closest friend behind me.

I spun in my chair to face him. "Atsushi!" I beamed. "Im actually kind of nervous," i admitted, biting down on my lip.

Atsushi took a seat in a chair next to mine - one that's usually reserved for Dazai. I was assigned to observe him, but that was difficult when he was never around. In the few instances where he actually was present, he didn't do much work. It was mostly him lying around like an old cat.

I tugged at the base of my plaid skirt, pulling it down to my knees. My black sweater felt suddenly suffocating as the anxiety set in. I was getting assigned a partner today, and that was irreversible. It was unheard of for teams to swap.

"Why are you nervous? Is there someone you dont like here?" He tilted his head but remained attentive. I could see him fight back the urge to offer me a comforting hand. At this moment, i really wish i could take it. I got spoiled with the idea of touching another when I came here. Dazai dangled that prospect in front of my face, and part of me loathed him for it. I was much better off without the memory of physical touch.

I shifted uncomfortably in my chair. "No its not that, i just.." I trailed off. The one person i wouldnt want to be paired with was his mentor. Atsushi looked up to him, just as i did before the silent treatment and cruel teasing. How was I supposed to look at him and tell him that i currently held a massive grudge against his idol?

'it's Dazai, right?" I should've known hed read me like a book. He had been my closest friend here, and he knew me well enough by now. I pursed my lips and nodded, averting my gaze to my feet.

"I doubt you'll be paired with him. He's already stuck with Kunikida, and I don't think he'd let Dazai take on another apprentice," he gave a reassuring smile.

"Yeah. Youre right," i breathed out a heavy sigh before turning my chair back around. A somber silence fell over us. I was trying to focus on the paperwork in front of me, and Atsushi spun in circles while toying with a pen.

Suddenly, he stopped spinning. "Hey Kiriko, can i ask you something?" The pen fell to the ground and he was quick to pick it up.

"What's up?" I asked. I punched some numbers in on the small calculator.

"Why wont you let people touch you?" He set the pen back in its place on my desk.

I held my hand above the calculator. It was like an invisible string was in control, and I was the puppet - only the puppet master fell asleep. It dawned on me that the damned brunette was the only person who knew, and he kept my secret. With all the grievances he's given me, i was no longer allowing him the right to keep a secret of mine.