And the sun will rise again

Chapter 4

Philip. What a wonderful man. When we first met I couldn't believe he even talked to me. A handsome man, also noble and polite. I was finishing my 1st year in screenwriting, at the Academy of arts school. Silly, naive nineteen years old girl. And real man eight years older. It was hard not to fall in love with him. And of course I did. He is the most romantic person I know. He came from a rich family, originally from Columbia and when he was 24 he started his career in finances, as well as he started to take cocaine. As he said, at the beginning it was occasional, but with time he needed more and more. And this part of his personality I discovered after 8 months of our relationships. I was shocked and frustrated when I found out he does drugs. And I offered my help, to find a clinic, to support him in every step. We agreed he would do it. The night of the attack we supposed to go to dinner with his parents. We started an argument about something I can't remember. And then I was attacked by the monster who I don't know and will never be able to recognise. I don't know if I ever be able to accept this condition.

I need to see Philip, I want to talk to him. That girl "kinda my best friend" who came to me sometime before, she told me Philip was in the hospital as well, but at that time I couldn't even think of anything. Now I try to accept a new reality with all the faces I see and all of them I don't know, no matter if it's my doctor, my mom or stranger. I don't even know where my phone is.

I'm out of my room, going through a corridor, nurses doing their daily routine. I see a young man going towards me.

- My love! Finally they let me out to see you. Oh my God! I feel so guilty I couldn't protect you.

I'm stepping back as I was not ready to meet anyone I know. It was Philip. I recognised his voice, but that meeting was so unexpected and I reacted if it was a stranger.

- Hi! Philip? Is it you?

- Of course it's me, babe. I'm so sorry for what happened. I love you so much, I will understand if you will never forgive me.

- It's not your fault Philip.  

He hugs me and I can't stop crying, he hugs me with so much love.

- Babe, I was...- he was also emotional and it was hard for him to speak. - I was freaking out when you were in ICU, they didn't let me visit you until today.

- Philip, I'm lost. I don't know if anyone told you already, but there are consequences after those injuries.

- Of course Josie, there will be consequences, but I will support you with anything that we need to fix.

- It's not fixable, - I'm saying with tears in my eyes.

- What do you mean, - he looks at me seriously.

-I have face blindness. Prosopagnosia. I can't recognise people's faces anymore.

- What? That's not possible, you messing with me? - he is trying to smile.

- Unfortunately not. It's not treatable. I will never be able to recognise your face or anyone else's.

- But how did you know it's me just moments ago?

- Your voice. The way you talked to me. No other men would call me my love.

- Oh my God, Josie. I don't know what to say. I'm so sorry I couldn't protect you. I'll put you in the best clinic. I will help and support you. We will find the way to treat it or.. or... adjust..

- Philip, stop. You are not making any better. I said it's not treatable. It's for the rest of my life. I will understand if you want to leave.

-No way Josephine Parker. You haven't left me when found out about the drugs. I won't leave the love of my life that easy, - he suddenly stopped and made a few second pause. Then he looked at my eyes and said:  -  I'm going to rehab...

- That's really good news, - I said with said smile, despite I was glad he is on the way to get rid of that addiction. - At least one of us can live a normal life.

Thoughts in my head were a mess. I couldn't say proper support words, as I was feeling smashed myself. But still I didn't ask Philip what happened to him?

- I totally forgot to ask what happened to you. Why were you taken to the hospital?

- Oh, I had a little injury. That bustard hit my head, and I also had a knee injury when I fell down.

- That's horrible. I hope you are ok now? What does the police says? I haven't talked to anyone yet.

- I'm ok, Josie. Of course I'm ok. I worry about you more than my knee. Police asked me some questions, but at the moment they have no clues or suspects. Definitely they will talk to you. It might help the investigation.

- Oh, yeah, for sure. Especially now, when I don't even know how my boyfriend looks. But anyway I'll talk to them. I have to go to a counseling session. Let's talk later. By the way, I don't know where my phone is.

- Don't you have it with you? Might be that moron stole it.

- I'll ask mom to get me some phone.

- No way. I'll give you a new one. I feel terribly guilty. Please just let me do it.

- Philip, you shouldn't feel that way. You are also a victim.

- New phone will be with you this afternoon.

- Thanks.

He kisses my lips gently and says:

- See you later, my love.

- See you, Philip.

I feel frustrated. I need to do counselling, but I can't. I don't want to see anyone's face even my own and not be able to recognise it. What a horrible challenge.

Philip said he feels guilty. Somewhere deep in my thoughts even I felt his guilt, but it's not right. He would protect me if he could. He is also a victim here. I need to get rid of that thoughts, otherwise they will make me totally crazy.