Don't call me Angel- Completed

Fifty Three

"Easy baby." He held my hand, helping me out the car. An extra 2 weeks. I was stuck in that room. I was going crazy. I wanted things to go back to normal now. I was sick of crying in a hospital room every time I was alone. I just wanted my own bed and to move past it all. I couldn't do anything now. I couldn't bring him back. 

I hadn't spoken to Nicky or Mia since they went home a few days after I woke up. They'd called and text but I just felt so freaking bad. It was all my fault. If I hadn't slept with him, he'd still be here. None of this would have happened. I wouldn't have made him do things that caused his dad to shoot him dead. I fucked up. And I'd have to hold that for the rest of my life. 

"You okay?" I nodded as my feet steadied on the drive. Pebbles. Not a great idea for unsteady feet. Maybe we should change this so something flatter. More stable.  "Mads, before we go in. I know you're going through everything right now, but none of this is your fault. I need you to stop thinking it is. He messed up. He kept pushing, we all made it very clear to him that he needed to leave you alone and he's the one who made the decision not to do as he was told and he's the one who tried to kill you Maddy. None of it is your fault." I looked down at the floor. He reached for me but I took a step back. It was. No one could convince me otherwise that this whole thing wasn't my fault. 

"Maddy-" He sighed stepping and wrapping me in a tight hug. "I'll keep telling you it's not your fault. One day you'll believe me. Until then I'll believe it for both of us." His grip on me was tight as I stood there limp in his arms. I'd been like this a lot since he told me. Numb to everything except the pain of Arlo burying itself deep. "You missed your birthday."  He slowly stepped back, smiling softly as he wrapped his fingers into mine. "Everyone wanted to throw up a party but I said I didn't think it was wise until you were better. You're always tired at the moment anyway." He started walking to the door and I followed, not taking my hand out of his. 

This was another thing now too. I didn't want to let him go. Ever. Every second he was in the room I was clinging to him in some way. Apparently I get clingy when I nearly die. He kept telling me it was cute but I could see he was worried in his mind. His eyes looked clouded over slightly. But in all honesty, I wanted to be clingy before the incident. I wanted to be around him constantly and never let him go. I just wasn't hiding it anymore. 

What a shit start to this relationship it had been. 6 months of none stop drama between us, even before we were together. Arlo riddled into every single string that kept us together. Every single strand was tainted by him just because our first night was us running from him. I'd never be able to undo that. I just wanted things to be normal for us. But I guess the kind of job were in makes that pretty impossible anyway. We weren't a normal couple. 

"I love you." He smiled as he stood in front of the door. He'd unlocked it but wasn't opening it. "You know that right?" 

"Yeah." I did. He made sure I knew it. Especially now. After everything. He really felt bad about shooting me. It was kind of funny. How I didn't regret doing the same thing to him, but to him it had taken him all this time to come around from it. "I love you too." I gave him a half hearted smile. I don't want to carry this negativity into the house. I want that energy away from me. Not where I live. This place is happy and comforting. I need it to stay that way if I had any hopes of getting through this. 

"Good." He nodded, tugging me forward and opening the door, pushing me inside first. I furrowed my brows at him as he walked in behind me, closing and locking the door. "Stop looking at me." He chuckled, turning me around so I had my back to him, looking into the house. "I missed you so much. I started making notes about all the things I missed about you and the others did too. Though getting it out of Z and Ethan was a little harder." He chuckled, hands on my hips he started walking me into the sea of ribbon ties to balloons. "They all sat writing them down this week and we decided to surprise you with this. We thought you needed a pick me up." I looked back at him and he smiled, raising his hand to pull the first one. "Pip says she missed telling you about the last stupid thing Ethan said. Which at this time was that he thought pigs could fly but they were just lazy and that's where the saying 'when pigs fly' came from." We laughed as he read it out. That doesn't even surprise me for Ethan.100 percent on trend for him. 

"You got Tommas in on it too? How'd you manage that?" I smiled grabbing another card. 'I miss your attitude. It makes me smile how cocky you are. Reminds me how strong you are. You'll get through this Maddy.' I let it go, watching as it bounced from the balloon, slowly settling. 

"Oh this one's funny." Lu handed me another one. 

We carried on like this for what felt like forever, reading everyone's notes and memories. There was photos too that they had taken whilst I was out. Stories about things people had said, or milestones I'd hit. 

This was honestly the sweetest thing anyone had ever done for me.