A letter

1

The ground crunched under his feet, as he stepped on the leaves that littered the ground beneath him. He had gotten away from all the hustle and bustle of life, as he walked through the many headstones of the graveyard. He hadn't told anyone where he was going, it was something he wanted to do by himself. His notepad and pen in his hand, as he approached the stone of where his mother's final resting place was. Steve stood there, maybe longer than he thought he should have, before sitting down and resting his back against the stone. It had been several months, maybe more, that he had been out here to visit her. The weather had been horrible, winters always were bad at this time of year, and his own health issues had kept him secluded in the apartment that was somehow paid off for several years to come. Sarah Rogers had made sure everything was in order before her passing and the young man had been flabbergasted when he learned of the news. His mother was his first best friend, and he missed her tremendously. He had tried to shut out the world, once she had passed away, but James wouldn't allow it, and had been by his side the whole time, but when he had enlisted the fear of forever being alone, without him by his side, scared him.

He closed his eyes briefly, sighing heavily not wanting to think about that right now, before opening up the journal that he brought with him; the pen already in hand. Licking his lips briefly, he steadied himself, as he calmed his breathing and focused on what was needed to be done. He felt her spirit wash over him, like a gentle kiss in the wind, as if telling him that she was here with him. A small tear trekked down Steve's cheek, as he smiled sadly, not bothering to wipe it away, as he looked in the distance. There was some people paying their respects to their loved ones, but other than that everything else was calm and quiet.

Dear ma,

It's been several months since I was last here visiting you. The weather has been horrible, winter was brutal, tons of snow everywhere, and my health wasn't the greatest. It was in those moments that I wanted you here by my side, telling me everything was going to be okay. I miss the advice you bestow upon me, but I know you're watching from above and smiling at the young man that I have become. It just isn't the same without you though. During your last few months of living, it was hard for me. Hard for me to even think you'd no longer be around. I didn't ever think I would lose my first best friend.

I am planning on enlisting soon. War is looming upon this great country, and I want to do everything that I can to fight alongside my brothers. I know, I know, you're probably shaking your head and smiling softly, with that little knowing twinkle in your eye, and telling me I can do whatever I put my mind to, but still having that look of concern in your eyes. I know that I would be great, even if I'm skinny, have a lot of medical issues, and a bit short. I still want to fight for the military.

James has been my constant through all of this. The days I don't feel like I want to be strong are the days he's been there without question, but that goes without question since we've been inseparable from the moment we became friends. There's been moments that I wanted to tell him how I felt about him, that I only ever told you, but have chickened out. He's my best friend and I love that man to death, but it's something that can't be said allowed. Society wouldn't ever understand, maybe one day they will, but for now it's not. I don't ever want to lose him, ma. It would kill me on the inside.

They have started to build more around the city, it's not the same anymore. It seems like the town that we grew up in is now beginning to get bigger. I do hope that it doesn't mess up anything. Maybe it's just me wishing that Brooklyn doesn't become too big for its britches. Except it seems like everyone is moving to New York, so it makes one wonder how it'll be in years to come.

I can't thank you enough for all that you have done for me, ma. I miss you so much and miss having our late-night chats. Even if you didn't admit to it, I feel like you got me up in the middle of the night, just to talk because it was just the two of us. Glass of milk and cookies while we stood in the kitchen just laughing about anything and everything. Sometimes if I can't sleep, which is often these days, I will keep that tradition alive. You shouldn't have paid for everything for me, that money could've been useful somewhere else, but I know you were only looking out for me. To say that I was shocked is a true understatement.

I could go on, but everything I have ever said you already know deep down. I miss and love you so much, that there are days where I seclude myself from everything and everyone. I don't mean to, but it happens. You did your best at sheltering me, even though it was useless, because I would find out things to begin with. I just wish you were here though. I know one day I will see you again.

Love always,

Steven Grant Rogers

Ripping the paper out of the notepad, he folded it up, and placed it into the mound of dirt, next to the headstone. He could've written longer. Could've said so much more, but he knew his mother knew how he felt, just by the gentle breeze that surrounded him. He got up from where he sat, brushing off his trousers, and placed both hands onto the memorial of her.

"I will always stand up and be brave ma. I won't ever let anyone discourage me from doing what's right. I love you always." He said to her, kissing his fingers and placing it on the stone. He took a step back, looking one last time at where his mother's final resting place was, before walking away from it, his hands in his pockets as he walked away. The ground steadily crunching under his feet.

The silent promise of always visiting her, no matter how old he became, was whispered into the wind.