When Glaciers Melt

Part 2: The Present

Content warning: This chapter depicts experiences of grief and traumatic memories relating to the death of a loved one. If you don't feel like reading something like this right now, or ever, then take care and do what feels comfortable :3 

Picture credit: hmmdotjpg (https://www.instagram.com/hmmdotjpg/)

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If Crystal had to summarize her life in the Ice Kingdom in two words, they would be: obedience and sacrifice.

All her life, every breath in her lungs and thought in her head and beat of her heart, had belonged to her Kingdom. Her uncle Narwhal had told her as much, ensuring she understood that, as an IceWing princess, she was not permitted to be lazy and frivolous. Up until the moment a princess became Queen, she was expected to serve her Kingdom, not the other way around.

From the moment she hatched, the blood in her veins was blood to be spilled in battle should the Kingdom need it of her. Her bloodline was to be meticulously manicured to ensure strong and noble heirs that could lead the Kingdom. Each of her mistakes, no matter how minor, was savagely attacked, so that her small weaknesses would not grow into disastrous faults that would put the Kingdom at risk.

And because Crystal did not want to be a horrible Queen or a sloppy general or a tactless courtier, she did everything she was told. She obeyed.

The first crowned princess of Queen Glacier; heir apparent for three whole years until another princess hatched. The only heir to the throne in a time of war; but by the time Snowfall had hatched it was already too late.

By age two, Crystal had begun having nightmares. By age three her stomach would ball up into a fist each time she had to speak with Narwhal or the other members of court, but it was in her fourth year that the headaches began.

She had always been prone to them. She quickly learned that sleep deprivation was the trigger, at least at first. Staying up all night to study would guarantee hours of aching that throbbed from the base of her neck and out to the tips of her wings. Soon, one night spent awake led to a days of pain, and then a week, and eventually she stopped counting the sleepless nights that smeared together under the jagged teeth of her pounding head.

And still she did everything she was told. She learned to strike harder and fly faster. She sharpened her mind as well as her tongue, educating herself in the language of court.

Sometimes, after a rare night of restful sleep, Crystal would think the headache had vanished. The blissful relief would make her feel weightless, the naiveté of feeling temporarily invincible, only for the glint of a white mountain peak or the shrill call of a snowy owl to spring it back like a snare.

But still, she obeyed, and she had planned to obey for the rest of her life...until Queen Glacier died; and then, in the fallout of that terrifying moment, she hadn't obeyed. She had chosen love instead.

In the thrill of escape she was convinced everything would change. She would have control of her own life at last; she would no longer have to run from those fearful and wonderful emotions that turned out to be love for another dragon. She wouldn't have to fight tooth and claw for her name to be at the top of a soulless wall.

Funny how life could forge your wishes into knives.

Now, as Crystal flew with the mid-morning sunrise resting on her left wing, she was resigned to the fact that her headaches had returned and had gotten worse. The nascent streaks of sunlight that glittered along her scales sent sparks pulsing through her eye socket.

This sharp, new pain blended into the already grinding ache that pressed into the roof of her mouth and settled in the cradle of her skull.

But that was fine. Perfectly fine. Crystal wasn't worried about this at all.