Forbidden Idol Love

Ch 2

I moved quickly and quietly not to disturb Taw as he was obviously not happy with the fact that we were going to room together. As a I unpacked I tried to not get in his way and leave spaces for him on the shelves and in the dresser. He didn't say anything , but I could feel the hostility in the air with his huffing puffing and dramatic sighing. I wasn't going to chase his attitude so I kept to myself and did what I had to do. KEEP ON TASK.

"Kids! Come out for dinner!" Yelled Vic hyung.

I let Taw walk out from our room first and then slowly trailed behind him. On the table there was a huge pot filled with ramen and and large open container of what looked to be homemade kimchi. Wow that looked good, it had been an insanely long time since I had homemade kimchi.

"Eat up plenty guys my mom sent a lot!" Vic hyung added.

"Oh ummm... is that it?" Gareom said bluntly.

"What do you mean?"

"Oh I just thought when you said you were going to make food that there was like I dunno....going to be more like real food?"

"Oh sorry I thought this was plenty. I'll ask next time what you guys want." Vic's smile never wavered.

I had heard that Vic hyung grew up without very much in contrast to Gareom who was the son of some sort of CEO or at least that was the rumor...and by his attitude I'm guessing it's true.

"Oh it's okay hyung this is plenty!" Hae interjected.

"Yup! This looks so good, I can't wait to eat." Taw added in excitedly.

And again I was reminded that Taw is literally an angel to everyone, but me. I know this whole thing had nothing to do with me in the slightest, but I could feel a rise of annoyance. What exactly had I done that was just soooo bad. Like okay, yes, I'm sorry I'm main vocal, but it's not like I chose it! The company ASSIGNED them to us. Calm down Jem, why are you arguing with him in your head.

There was a quick moment of silence. It seemed like they were expecting me to say something as everyone had said their opinion and part. Wait, they actually care about what I have to say?

"I-"

"Well let's just eat okay" Taw interrupted.
The annoyance that fluttered in me turned immediately into a raging anger. But no wait, deep breaths, I'm aren't allowed to show my emotions. I can't mess up. Hold it in.

Gareom seemed to notice the tension, between me and Taw as well as the one he accidentally created with his own comments. He tugged slowly on the sleeve of Vic hyung and apologized for being insensitive and that he didn't mean to come off as rude. Vic hyung took it all lightly and assured everyone to start eating.

As the days continued we were completely busy with lessons and practice. Soon it was time to record our debut song Pink Sky. This would be our official debut so there was an air of anxiety. They all chatted amongst themselves and expressed their nervousness. I listened quietly to their conversations.

I had been practicing my part and high note constantly. My turn was next, after listening to the guide a couple times I had to record my part. Everything went smoothly till we got to the high note. It wasn't that I couldn't hit it, but every time I tried it was like my throat constricted and I couldn't get any air out. After the third try the producer paused the music. I was scared to raise my face and look at him and the other members through the glass. I felt like I had just let everyone down. I'm supposed to be the main vocal and I can't even do the one high note I've been assigned.

"Taw, you already finished recording and from what I've heard this is in your range, could you go in there and help him out a bit?" Our producer tentatively asked.

"Oh, me? Ummm yeah sure." I could see him bust out a smirk as he got up and walked into the recording booth with me.

"Okay for this part just open up a bit, you're too tense." His tone wasn't rude or sarcastic. This was new.

I copied everything he told me to do. When it got to the recording I felt myself starting to choke up again. All of a sudden I felt a hand rub down my back. The slight distraction made me loosen up and I was able to finish the recording session. His hand was warm.

I glanced over at him while taking off my headphones. Taw was just looking straight ahead through the glass at the producers. We continued in our same positions to the door, me first and him trailing slightly behind. When I opened the door he suddenly pulled his hand away from my back as if touching me wasn't something he wanted to show the others.

The members offered words of comfort to me and praise to Taw. I wanted to thank him but now Gareom was recording and the atmosphere had shifted. I missed my timing to say thank you.

Our manager picked us up and we headed off to the company dinner. Apparently our director had rented out a room at this BBQ place to celebrate our recording session and our debut that was to follow quite soon.

There was a drone of company policy for over an hour and and the longest section of the droning was dedicated to the no dating policy. As the director went on and on I had nothing better to do than what I do best. Stay silent and observe.

Gareom looked nervous as his eyes darted from the director to his meal over and over. Vic hyung looked very engaged in the conversation and was continuously nodding his head. Hae was smirking and subtly poking Taw who had his eyebrows knitted together and was violently glaring back at Hae.

Taw glanced over at me and caught me staring. I decided to act shamelessly and not look away. Taw's glare slowly morphed into surprise and he looked away first. I decided to move my attention back to the director but I couldn't help but notice the slight reddish tinge at the tops of his ears.

Things moved in a blur, before we knew it we released our debut and we were at our first music show. Everyone was practically bursting with excitement. I made sure to remain calm and collected as always. Even our early rehearsal at 6 am seemed fun because everything was new and exciting to us.

And the rookie mc announced the winner as...

"Congratulations SSR with their brand new debut Pink Sky!"

I looked around me and saw my members start to tear up. I tried to look away quickly, but it was too late and I could feel my perfect facade starting to crumble.

I worked hard to remain indifferent and collected in front of not only the public but my own members and now this stupid dream like moment is going to ruin everything. My real emotions are coming out, not the manufactured ones. It's scary too show my actual feelings to people. I don't want to show the real me. I don't want to be criticized and judged and show off anything that has to do with the real me. I cannot get hurt....if my real self is never exposed.

Vic hyung started his speech and I bit down on my bottom lip to stop it from quivering. As he spoke, his voice continued to break until he broke down, Gareom embraced Vic hyung with one arm and took the mic into his other hand and closed up our speech.

I was at a complete loss. I couldn't take it anymore, but there was no where to hide to relieve my emotions. Turning around wouldn't hide anything considering the amount of idols lined up behind us on the stage.

I felt a tap on my back and when I tuned around I saw Taw holding his arms open for me. This is my chance. I quickly grasped Taw and desperately found myself clinging and sinking myself deeper into his chest as my tears came pouring out. My back was exposed, but I felt like I was protected and safe.

In return, Taw whispered that everything would be alright and continued to rock me back and forth in his arms while rubbing my back up and down, leaving trails of warmth behind.