CHERRY: Diary Of A Fat Girl

CHAPTER ONE

WORD COUNT: 3,323

  I stared at my reflection in the mirror. My stomach was wide, as you could see the stretch marks that are on my lower stomach. There was already a crack from the other morning from where I threw an object at it. I couldn't help but feel an empty feeling in my stomach. I continued to try to get my jeans to fit me, but the button didn't want to close as my vision began to blur from frustration. I let out an annoyed growl as I gave up. I threw my hands in my hair as I let out an annoyed shout. My vision continued to blur as I stared at my reflection once again. I've tried every diet you could think of. Nothing worked, I continued to stay the same weight or the weight would continue to round up. Nobody understood me, nobody never tried to understand what I saw.
   My sister had a body like a model. She was able to wear whatever she wanted, and she didn't even have to worry about her body. Rusty was only sixteen, living her life to the fullest. She would always go out every Friday night to go to parties. I would be home by myself as I continued to sulk, as I would figure out what is wrong with me. In gym class whenever they'd make us run a mile, I was always the last one. Everyone would be breathing regularly as I would be heaving and coughing as I tried to catch my breath. I would always see that same sympathetic look on their face when they saw me, and some of them would look annoyed whenever I would sit next to them on the field.
    I would always be in class and I would always have notes thrown onto my desk.
  'Move your fat shoulders, I can barely see the board. That one made me crack. I had to ask the teacher to let me go to the bathroom, and I cried the whole period. I never once went back and I stayed in the bathroom stall. I contemplated on pretending I was sick, so I could stay home from school again. My mom would always know that I was lying. Everyone knew the rumors about me. I mean, who hadn't? I was the only fat kid in my school. I was good at nothing, the only thing I'm good at is eating food, and knowing how to continuously gain more weight. I was almost three hundred pounds, and I was only in my junior year of high school.  RiverMore high wasn't the type of school that was nice to all shapes and sizes. The boys at school would point fingers at girls, and they would rate them out loud, and I would always be called  "fat bastard", from Austin Powers.  I know you're laughing at it now, but they would always throw giant sumo wrestler diapers at me. They would always try to make me wear them but it never worked as I would run, to try to escape their crude jokes.
      It was almost eight o'clock, school started in thirty minutes. I finally decided to wear my leggings, the only pair of pants that fit me at the moment. I tried my best to hide my stomach over a super baggy hoodie. It was enough to hide my stomach, but not enough to hide my thighs. Today I decided to skip breakfast, though it was tempting to eat a piece of bacon, or a waffle drowned in syrup, but I decided not to.
  My parents left for work already, so it was just me in the house. Rusty already left with some of her friends an hour ago to go get coffee. I sighed when I walked down the halls. Each step caused me to lose my breath each time. I reached for the front door, almost knocking the flowers that were in the vase in the corner. I cringed, but quickly caught it with my chubby hands. I let out a sigh of relief when there were no sounds of glass shattering on the wooden flooring. I wiped my hand on the back of my forehead and closed my eyes with a sigh.
  I finished my way toward the front door. Each room of the house was different colors. My mother wanted the living room to be like a champagne color. The chairs were white, we were never allowed to have food, or drinks in the living room in case we spilled on her couch. My mother has an obsession with pottery barn. Almost everything in this house was from there. The throw rug that was underneath the couch in the living room was also from pottery barn, as it matched the chairs and the walls with different line patterns. They were different shades of brown, along with the throw pillows that were just washed by the cleaners the other day. Every Sunday the house ladies would come and clean for a few hours. The house has never once been messy. The walls in the living room had floral wallpaper with different shades of yellows, and some blues. 
    There was one loveseat chair that was yellow, along with another one by the window that was red. We didn't have a TV in our house yet, my mother wasn't a big fan of watching TV as it would make us stupid. So I stuck to my record player to listen to some music. I would get yelled at by my parents sometimes when I would blast my music, but I didn't care as I would always get lost to the music. I used to love singing, but I stopped after the second grade though. I got pushed off the stage by Megan Davis. She was mad that I took the role as Belle, one trip to the hospital later along with a broken wrist in the process.
    So ever since then I have coped with eating food. We went out to get ice cream to cheer me up, but I couldn't help but want more. So, I took some money from my allowance and grabbed more money to buy food. One time I ate so much food I got sick. I cried so hard that night, but I couldn't stop. My brain kept telling me to eat more, that it was helping me with my emotions.
   I shook those thoughts out of my head as I finally made it to my car. I wasn't as heavy as others think I am. I was only two hundred and twenty pounds. I had a huge pouch, I would always hide in the girls bathroom to get changed so I didn't have to face the other girls who were much smaller than me. My gym teacher understood, as she would make sure I felt comfortable and not felt like I was some sort of animal that belonged to the zoo. Last month a group of student put my picture of me on a hippo, they called me hippofatamus for three weeks. Honestly it was stupid, it wasn't even creative. It didn't bother me, as I was just annoyed by the fact that they came up with a stupid name for me. Like, if you were to hurt me why couldn't you think of a better come back?
    I made it to my car when I sighed. Looking at my face in the reflection once again. My face was chubby, I had no sense of fashion as I was only wearing a blue and yellow striped sweater, along with a pair of leggings and my white converse. There was only one store in town that sells for plus size, and none of their clothes had my style.
  The school was only three blocks away from my house. But it was easier to drive there since I would always be late to school. I would always have second thoughts on going to school, to the point where I would second guess and I would start to panic. I would have been able to skip classes, and I would just tell my parents that I had bad cramps, or that I would pretend that I had some sort of sickness. My mother would believe my lies, sometimes my sister would catch onto my bullshit, but I was a good enough liar to make everything believable.
The sound of a loud upbeat bass filled my ears. I turned to my left, and I could see a group of boys in one car. They were the jocks at my school. The kings and queens, is what we called them. But there was only one King that ruled our school, Scott Ryan. He and I were best friends in the first grade. Until he met Megan Davis; she was the type of girl that every boy dreamed of. She was beautiful, her mom was a journalist, and her father was the principal at the school. If she got in trouble, she was quick to get out of it. She would cut class whenever she felt, as she would use her father as a weapon towards her teachers. She said if you told her father that she was cutting class, she would find any sort of lie to get you fired.
Megan lived in a giant mansion, she would always come to school with different types of designer bags. When she was younger she was in beauty pageants, her closet was full of awards from when she was in them. She also had many cheer trophies around her room, along with cheer photos on her walls. I used to be a cheerleader with her when we were kids, I was just as good, if not better than her. And then she found a way to make it all about her by the time we were in middle school when she found a way to become cheer captain. She made sure I never got onto the team, as she started to spread rumors about me. She said that I had posters of Scott Ryan in my closet, and that I had a diary about my future plan with him. They were all lies, I still don’t know how she thought of that one, since she was supposed to be my best friend.
Once high school came, she had completely changed. Her lips were more plump, and you could totally tell that she got her lips done that summer. Her boobs were bigger too, two cups too big. Her waist had become more petite, as if she had done every workout just to get that skinny, and that she had to go on the strictest diet known to man. I looked over in the passenger seat and I saw Scott Ryan looking at me. He drove a dark blue 1967 impala, and it matched his personality perfectly. He was a car guy, he worked with his father after school after football practice and worked as a mechanic. I looked up at the light and noticed that the light was starting to turn green soon, but I could help but look over at Scott. My mouth agape, as I noticed the small smile he had given me. The light soon turned green, and he quickly drove before I could give a smile back. I drove a second later once the car horn behind me took me out of my daydream.
He was the type of boy that would easily break a girls’ heart. He always held that type of stereotype, especially since he was dating a girl like Megan Davis. I knew everything about him, or so I used to, but I like to think that I still know him more than most people do.
RiverMore was a very big town in California. Many celebrities would come to the RiverMore festivals that happen every year. It’s one of the biggest festivals, my uncle was the first person to start it a few years back in the seventies. Him and his friends made it as a joke, but soon it became a tradition. My uncle was a rockstar. He was the one who helped me find a vocal coach when I was only thirteen. But I stopped singing after another incident with Megan Davis. We were doing Romeo and Juliet. Scott Ryan was casted as Romeo, as I got Juliet. But of course Megan had to make a big deal out of it, as I was a bigger girl who shouldn’t deserve the role as Juliet. This caused an uproar between both parties, but of course Megan won, as she got to kiss Scott Ryan. That’s the same day Scott Ryan asked her out. She’d always find a way to make it about her.