For the First Time | n.h.

Chapter Twenty-Seven

Niall’s POV:

“Why don’t you try calling her?” Zayn suggested, his voice at its usual level of quietness. Her was referring to Megan. Of course it referred to Megan; everything always came back to her.

                “She told me not to,” I mumbled back, “I’m not supposed to call or text or try to talk to her at all. She made that pretty clear.”

                Zayn sighed softly, trying to think, “Well, that was three weeks ago...maybe she’s changed her mind a bit, you think?”

                I closed my eyes and let my head fall back against the soft cushion before shaking my head in response. “No, trust me, she hasn’t changed her mind...I crossed a line Zayn. I hurt her, and I don’t think she’s going to forgive me for this one.”

                The sofa shifted slightly as another body added weight beside me. “Well I don’t blame her,” Liam’s voice said; scolding and yet worried, “You really messed things up mate. Megan’s a lovely girl, I don’t see why you insisted on treating her like...”

                I opened my eyes to look at him, worried about where that sentence was leading. “Like what, Liam?”

                His brown eyes found mine, “Like she means nothing to you.”

                I flinched painfully at his answer, hating how true it was. Nothing; if there was one person who deserved to be treated as a perfect something it was Megan. What had I done? I groaned and squeezed my eyes closed tight, trying to imagine a time when things weren’t so royally fucked up. It was a long time ago, wasn’t it? Back before I started touring. I think the last really good memory I have of the two of us was the day we spent in our apartment before I left. That was over half a year ago. Where had time gone? What happened to us?

                I had fucked up bad, hadn’t I? I cheated on her...repeatedly. She never deserved that. I had lied to her...I had hurt her in nearly every way one could think to damage her personally...

                I bit my lip harshly and continued to think...I just wanted to remember all of the good times. I wanted to remember exactly why Megan and I had fallen in love in the first place, because it seemed like I had forgotten. My mind was too of the bullshit to think clearly. I winced as I realized that I truly had forgotten; I couldn’t remember why I loved Megan’s laugh so much, I couldn’t recall the way her eyes sparkled when she smiled...I didn’t remember why Megan was so incredibly special to me...I didn’t remember why I loved her.

                Nonetheless, there was this feeling that never ceased to attach itself to the girl. Whenever I saw or thought about her, I couldn’t help but get this overwhelming need to make her feel loved. It hung around no matter what. The problem was that I hadn’t truly thought about Megan in a long time.

                “Perhaps you should try calling her,” the suggestion came from Liam this time.

                I sighed and told him what I had just told Zayn, “Liam, she doesn’t want to talk to me.”

                “Yeah, but she might not have meant for that to last forever. You’re going to have to talk eventually, you can’t just leave things like this,” he said softly, “You gotta talk, and make sure you listen to what she says Niall. I mean truly listen to her.”

                I nodded, not sure about the idea myself but willing to give it a try. I had to. Megan wouldn’t answer the phone, that I was sure of, but perhaps she would listen to my message. I had to give it a shot...she was more than worth it.