poems

the voices

TW:MENTIONS OF SELF HARM AND SUICIDE

The voice is always there in the back of my head "just do it, just one more time. Then we can stop" so I follow it. I do it one more time. But it doesn't stop. It carry on. Its like a drug. I'm addicted and I can't stop.

It's not that I don't want to stop but it is aswell. Like the release of the one more time is a way to keep me sain. A way to show me that I'm still human. A way to show me that I'm still alive.

The voice is always there in the back of my head "just do it, just jump, just take those pills, just kill yourself" so I take that extra mile. But it never works. It always has to fail

It's not that I don't want to die. But then it is. I want to take that extra step. I want to be able to be free. I want to be able to feel no more. But I can't and I don't. Because I'm to scared. Not scared to die. Scared of the pain it would inflict on people

The voice is always there in the back of my head "your worthless, no one likes you, just die already, they are only pretending to be friends with you, your worthless you deserve nothing, your a piece of shit" and I listen to those voices and each word that gets said another line gets added

It's not that I don't want the voices to stop. But I do. They are the only thing that reminds me that I am alive. That I am living. That I am going through living hell. That, they remind me of what I actually am and not what people make out. All they are doing is telling the truth

The voices are always there in the back of my head "just die already, one more than we'll stop, your worthless" and I'm half way there. Half way to making them stop. Half way from feeling like this

It's not that I don't want to be alive. But it is though. If I wasn't here all of it would stop. We're all gonna die one day. So why not make it now.

The voices are always there in the back of my head "it'll all be over soon"