["D/A" narrates —A.A.]
(Third-eye, I thought, as I tracked a thought, and my Wyllen disappeared. Black replaced his empty space. Chaos in the periphery.)
Wyl's empty black space. This will never do. How 'bout black with myriad flickering bits, just like at thicket's door. Mmm . . . and there they are, and no Lady El whispering, 'Wait for me here.' I closed my eyes, zooooomed in......................and Master J' appeared. He was facing the other way. They were all, all of them, facing the other way. And, well, I suppose I should be surprised at myself, sitting here on the old Stone Well wall, half of me gazing up at the Old Bastion, the other half of me hovering high above, overlooking the building. But surprised I'm not. Nothing in this "realm" seems to surprise me much, anymore. Besides, I'd overlooked the place before. "So, Master J', will you speak?" He had before. "Maybe you'll say something about sorrow?" Wyl's sorrow? Or my sorrow? Maybe Deep Memory sorrow? He didn't. Nothing. Not a word. Not even telepathy. What I heard, however, was a dim memory—a Lady El dim memory, and her dim voice whispering, 'Think of sorrow as a portal.' She'd said that, not so long ago. She had. Old news. But her whispering voice was news enough. And . . .
. . . dim came alive. NOT a memory. Not in my memory. Wyl's, maybe? "Let go now. Let go of this place, of your presence here. Consume yourself in all that you feel. Lose yourself in it and in the light that you see in the eyes before you. That light is you. YOU! Move into it and become yourself more fully. . . ."
Blink of the eye.....................and I was back. Still chaos in the periphery, and still no Wyl. "That light is you," she'd said. "YOU!" Suddenly, I was unsure. Very unsure.
Unsure thought-forms again. My own unsure thought-forms. They just won't go away! Not exactly doubt, but too many things resurfacing, sourcing my uncertainty. Too many things suggesting Wyl's appearance in my dream tonight might not have been him at all! YOU! (Sigh:) I had my own portion of male energy, didn't I? I had desire, too, and intention, and a will of my own, and I'd put force to form before. I HAD manifested my yellow, blue-belled frock and those inappropriate "yodel-ady-hoooo!" (thanks Jay) winter clothes, hadn't I? I had. And Jay (funny man) had suggested earlier that if I found myself inside a "station" (his lingo, not mine), and if there was a mirror anywhere inside the station I should look into it and at some point in time tell him what I saw. But that wasn't funny, that was weird. And the only thing even close to resembling a mirror here (here, within this the "4th station") were Wyllen's eyes, and within his eyes the sadness—the sorrow—which I'd thought might be a reflection of what he saw in mine! My unsure thoughts, riding high with what Master J' had said about the mirror (likely me in the mirror!), were highly suggesting I'd created Wyl . . . in my dreams. I had the parts. Oh, I had the parts! Desire especially! I wanted him here. I wanted him here bad, real bad, and I think I could've easily created him. Besides, was there ENOUGH Wyllen to be in the hospital, at the camp on the plateau, and here with me, too? Three places at once? Four, maybe? Where is he?
Unsure.
And this Deep Memory which is said to exist? Is It real and alive? And if I "were" to happen to access this Deep Memory, is it my memory alone and Wyl within it but a memory come-again-to-life in my current dream, and/or in my past dreams, for that matter: for all that's happened to me/us already? Yikes! Forget it. Not right now. Too confusing. Still, all this starry stuff—starbursts and deep dark space, and what not more—is clearly tied to Inner Space. I know that! I've been through it enough times—sometimes reaping useful information, in the moment, sometimes waiting a time for the information to appear, sometimes being dragged down when instead I might have moved on up!—on my own to know. And what about the lower-Astral plane and "its" impact on the appearance of things? Well, not right now for that either. I guess it IS doubt. I guess I'm just a "doubting Thomas" right now. So, then, let me be Thomas. And even if I HAD created Wyl alive within my feeling-world, then that's fine by me. Because it's all I've got! And I'd best run with it right now, with my feeling-world and with Deep Memory and with any form of Wyl available. Doubtless, my dreams live within my feeling-world, and the sorrow within Wyl's eyes (speculation) lives within Deep Memory. And Wyl himself? I'll find more out about that tomorrow, when I'm wide awake. Right now it's time to exit this place in mind. "Thomas." (Dear God . . .
YOU ARE READING
The Seventh Direction
AdventureA spiritual, mostly fictional adventure, which takes place in both the 3rd and 4th dimension . . . and perhaps occasionally in the 5th. Under the umbrella of Mother Earth---School of Learning, Freewill Zone---the story, rather than looking at us as...
