Heathens || Mphfpc x reader

CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO- grrr road-trip dad grrr

For some reason Jacob managed to screw up the shopping trip. Like dude, buy the clothes and leave! It isn't that hard! Well, as it turns out they ended up going to Grandpa's house instead and finding a gosh darn secret bunker for some reason. Good times. Why would they do that instead of getting clothes? Because Jacob is just weird, okay? It's that simple. My brother is a weirdo.

Anyway, when they got back Millard was quite excited over the fact that they had found that bunker. He would not stop talking about it for like, an hour, or something. Anywho, Jacob let me borrow the sorta dead car- needless to say one of the doors didn't work right anymore, apparently- and he let me drive the others to the store.

I took them to a shopping mall on the other side of Needle Key, the biggest mall on the island. It had a bunch of stores, and I was kinda craving Chick-Fil-A at the moment.

The car-ride was a weird one, which was an underestimate. I was driving and Hugh had called shotgun, which left Claire calmly buckled up in the back seat by Enoch and Horace who were yelling at each other in loud voices. Why? I don't freaking know! They're both damn idiots if you ask me.

I could see in the rearview mirror that Horace's face was bright-red with anger, and Enoch was death-glaring him. The two had been arguing for quite a while now, and I was worried Claire had picked up some swear words, courtesy of Enoch.

After a couple more minutes of listening to Enoch's profanity, I decided to cut in. Because seriously, where had that kid learned that kind of language?

Anyway, I pulled over the car and turned to glare at the two of them. "Ok, what are you people fighting over?" I asked, glaring.

Enoch was the first to speak, "Well I just asked this idiot to give me a little personal space, although he clearly doesn't give a fu-"

"ALRIGHT!" I cut in, glaring, "No more profanity. If you want to swear, get out of earshot of Claire, you dingus!" I said, and Claire nodded and crossed her arms at the two boys.

"Alright, you know what," I said, "Get out of the car, you two." I forced the pair of them out of the car, feeling a lot like that one road trip dad.

I glared down at the two midgets in all my six-foot glory, wondering why on earth they were fighting so much over some darn personal space. Then again, I sorta felt that.

I poked my head back into the car to say something to Hugh real quick, "Alright, this might get ugly, so prepare to be my backup." He gave me a thumbs up and I went back to being intimidating.

"Ok kids, what's the big deal?" I asked, and Enoch started his rant- lot's of profanity- about how Horace wouldn't scoot over, and then, surprisingly, Horace cut him off.

"For the record, I couldn't scoot over, because I was already completely squashed!" He exclaimed, glaring at Enoch with his arms crossed.

"Look, I'm sure Hugh wouldn't mind sitting in the backseat if it got the two of you to stop fighting over something stupid," I said. Oh no I am turning into a mom.

"Fine." Enoch grumbled, his arms still crossed and glaring at Horace. I rolled my eyes at their antics. Was I ever like that? Fighting with people over minor things? Yeah I probably still am. But hey, at least they're important minor things.

Why do you lie, Y/n?

Anywho, I herded the two kids back into the car, and asked Hugh (very kindly,)if he'd sit in the back seat. He shrugged, "If they shut the hell up I will," and that was that.

The rest of the drive was weirdly quiet, and I hoped that Enoch and Horace hadn't figured out how to telepathically argue or something. I'm done feeling like a mom. Never again.

Anyway, a few minutes later we arrived at the mall. It was a large, domed place, filled to the brim with shopping people. As soon as we stepped inside, Horace looked absolutely traumatized by the world's choice in fashion. Poor kid.

I dragged each of them to each store, showing them the stuff they could get. Horace threw a tantrum over crocs and khaki shorts- but then again, that was to be expected. He was Horace, after all.

I ended up talking him into getting normal-ish shorts and a t-shirt, which he still pouted about, but not as much. Enoch was all about the deadass emo-kid shit, which made sense. Hugh immediately ran over to a window and started jumping up and down because he saw a bee plushy, and refused to go anywhere else. I sighed and used a bit of my own cash to get it for him- it wasn't a big deal, really, if it made my friend happy then I'd do it.

After that, we got Chick-fil-a, and needless to say, they loved it. I was incredibly proud.

After a while, we headed back to the house. When we got back, we found everything as we'd left it, except everyone's moods. I looked over this and went up to my room, because that is a lovely place to be.

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Wassup b!tch3s, br0s, and n0nb!n@ry h03s! Sorry the chapter was incredibly late lol- but I swear this is the end of filler chapers. (Maybe,) whatever- Hope you guys enjoyed, love you all <3

ByEee